Reflecting

So I didn't write a blog post every day but did keep going. In the spirit of done is better than perfect I've sometimes posted two in a row. I've gone back -fixed typos but not deleted any post. I've found this a little surprising, even though there are minimal views I expected to have some form of 'Bloggers Remorse'. I didn't go mad buying for Christmas, did get sick of the' what do you want for Christmas?' questions . Sounds ungrateful but as an adult, you don't want to ask for expensive gifts, you have most of what you need anyway(I'm aware that not everyone has this privilege) and the build-up goes on for so long you are kind of over the whole buying gifts thing. And people don't listen to you and buy extras. At least we got something for everyone. There was a mix up with or just ignoring of my Mothers attempt at Secret Santa. We were the only ones that heeded it and only bought for one...They weren't angry. I think they realised what had happened.
  Or maybe that's just me and my 13-year-old. She wanted so much to get things that were 'good' presents, but we ran out of steam. She was really enthusiastic then genuinely exhausted from the count down to Christmas and early school morning starts.
She does like going to the shops but not in the way her friends do. She was horrified when one of them filled up a basket in Penny's, got to the till and discovered it was more money than she had. She promptly got them to refund items. The staff or her friend took no notice, but she would have had to add it up, even roughly, before paying. I would have been midways between her friend and herself when I was younger. I may not have added up correctly before going to the till. Sometimes some small embarrassments help you mind your money without massive consequences.
 I say I didn't go mad shopping. That is until you see the actual haul altogether. I mean I don't buy or wrap my presents all at once so tend to forget what it actually adds up to. I used vouchers quite a bit as my daughter won €100 to spend on O Neill's website, but there was nothing she liked so I claimed it, and I had a €100 One4All which I used on Lifestyle Sports for her. I used discount codes, 3 for 2 /2 for 1 offer (only if I actually wanted the things), money off SuperValu vouchers, Tesco's, Iceland, Dunnes for regular food shops as I have been in Tralee a lot recently and just been better about storing/using food up. I had cash if I needed it then for Christmas. Really I'm trying to save up for when the Old Toyota gives up.
 I bought some chocolates, biscuits, drinks but didn't go overboard. We always get some so end up doing a sort of a swap with people. It means I have something in if someone calls but we won't be still wading through it by the end of January. The Organic Farmer is still avoiding most sweet things but had some Christmas day. Whiskey he rationed but could probably have done a bit more. It was spread out though, and his blood pressure was down before the holidays. I'd say he hasn't undone his work. He's lost several stone. Others have noticed but maybe because I see him most days I haven't.
None of us have been driving early in the morning on public roads. The new drink driving laws can put you over the limit very easily. And straight off the road. I heard one story of a couple who went out left the car in Caherciveen, got a taxi home and drove in to collect their car the following day. Both were supposed to have been breathalysed, one after the other and been over the limit. Of course, alcohol causes incidents but so do drugs, tiredness and speed. People are worried about this over the Christmas and what it might mean for rural isolation and pubs. Nobody thinks you should be allowed to drive drunk, the consensus was that this new law had gone a bit far. The sales of home kit breathalysers will go through the roof. More plastic and carbon emissions getting them to us. Might be an idea to invest in shares.
 His two ovens broke Christmas Eve, fan and regular. We were being fed in relatives houses for a few days so didn't make much difference. I used to see people posting online about this and only ever skimmed the answers. You can survive fine without the oven, you just have to think a bit more what to cook. It works in mine and it's gas so even when the electricity is out, I can still use it. The hobs still work, he has a George Foreman, Slowcooker, Microwave and gas hob thingy his Mom brought for power outages . He'll be fine until the electrition calls. Sure one year my Mother cooked Christmas dinner on an old gas cooker in the garage that still had a couple of hobs and the oven working. I think we just had  less vegetables. Before this kind of thing would have stressed me but I seem to have gotten a little better at weathering events. Thats unless I allow some of my family members to rev me up with worse case scenarios.
One of my brothers new wives was aound( that makes him sound like a poligamist, he only has one). In Venezuela they celebrate on the 24th, stay up or wake up at 12 midnight to open presents the Baby Jesus brings and stay up eating, drinking and dancing. The 25th is for sleeping late and eating leftover pork. Good job I didn't even attempt Passales /Haclates which wikepedia told me was their thing at Chriatmas. I don't I need an oven for them but they are alot of work which would have tipped me over the edge. She's never had them before and though it was some Irish thing.
The Organic Farmer isn't supertitious as such but he does believe in ending the New Year you want to start off. So he pays up all his bills, makes sure he does jobs that day, has food in the house and goes to bed before 12. The last part is more do with not loving New Year though. The rest of his notions I kind of like. Starting the New Year with nothing hanging over you and full bellies. Another privelege not granted to everyone.

Post Holiday

The Festive Season in Ireland is nearly over. New Years I will just see with my daughter and head to bed. It brings up more for me than Christmas. The 4th I'm going to a version of a dinner dance so my daughter can collect a GAA medal. Both of us don't really want to dress up, especially her.

She is 13 and not into dressing up or make up just yet. It can be so uncomfortable because of other peoples feelings. Like once when their was the 4th years play , I overheard adults complaining about one girl looking  grown up ie they had uncomfortable feelings when they looked at her because puberty had hit sooner. Another girl was 'normal' because her appearance didn't have the same effect on them. Nothing to do with the girls themselves only their own feelings.We had a talk about wellness and were told that puberty can start as young as ten or as late  16 so through no fault of their own you have tiny teens in with adult sized versions of themselves.No wonder they have angst.And I wish it stopped at 35.

D Day

Title is melodramatic . I'm prone to hypebole at the moment. caught up in the madness of 'I should have bought different presents, bought  more or not more I should have put home made , handmade things under the tree, what if they hate them ? Sure what if they do ? We all have too much anyway and unless I'm going to start buying cruises to the Bahamas. I'm hardly going to start that.

I don't dislike Christmas, it's the notion we need to be all happy, with perfectly decorated houses, with just the right amount of presesnts , that cost just the right amount and eat things that you might not normally eat as someone , somewhere decided thats whats traditional in your country and  not call yor relatives out on problamatic behaviour because 'it's Christmas'. Funny how that last one changes to suit different times of the year. Maybe my own is terrible and the system is  saving 

The fuss over what is just a glorified roast dinner if you do turkey and ham. In Dublin there are Chinese' Takaway's open on on the 25th whic suits people just fine.I wouldn't be against that idea either. I think I'd prefer it to Polish Carp as fish wouldn't be my favourite. I looked into Venezuelan Passales or Haclates as my sister in law is from there.they are alot of work and I'm not the best cook so I'll try it when theres's less pressure for perfection. I never even asked her if she eats them , her family might not even do that.
I must go to the shop now for papers. I have plenty milk and a loaf of bread. Sure the shops are open Stephens Day again so it's not like we'll die of starvation. 

Maybe I should do what Mercedes did on Hollyaoks, whack everything in the microwave,including the whole turkey, add chips and tough shit if they don't like. 

Theres plenty people who are working over Christmas and shift the date to suit. Sure in in Germany they celebrate it the 24th and some presents have been brought already on the 8th from a version of Santa . Apparently Armenian, Orthodox and Coptic Christians celebrate it on the 6th and 7th of January. And in many other countries who are not mainly Christian they put up trees ,enjoying the tackiness and gift giving part.

In Ireland 6th of January is Nollaig na mBan or Womens Christmas. It's supposed to be when the women of Ireland get the day off from cooking etc.A thank you for all the emotional and physical labour they have done over the holidays. Thay usally go out on the weekend of the 6th. My granmother used to quote an 'Nollaig na mBan, Nollaig gan mhaith'.'Womens Christmas , no good' as long go all the goodies used to be gone by then. It's also the Feast of the Ephinany and marks the end of Christmas for those who celebrate on the 25th.Supposedly when Jesus was to have been revealed as God. The date may have been picked so the Roman Festival of Saturnalia could run into it. Basically the majority of us seem to like time off , presents and overeating so the tradition will carry on, whatever day you decide to celebrate it

Purgatory

I seem to have pulled intercostal muscles from coughing. This happened when in bed, lying down minding my own business. Same thing when I injured my neck and that took a week and a half to loosen. I'm back to trying to use get up awkwardly using the uninjured parts of me. It's in such a weird place - to my right side, under my boob. Advice is to try to cough less -cough is softening after two weeks but not gone yet , take a mild pain killer/codeine and try cough over your shoulder. This does ease it a bit but its still ridiculously painfull. Plus trying to be carefull that coughing doesn't set off alot of other chain reactions I don't want. It's starting to drag a bit.
I still have to get Christmas shopping. I don't really want to but the 13 year old will insist on making some bit of an effort. Sure it can be great cráic but I can also understand people not being arsed when there are no small kids or they don't have extended family they gather with. It is a nice idea to give presents and see people but its the obligation, the build up of it it to be perfect with everyone feeling happy , getting along for the whole time that can can grate.
I'm just feeling sorry for myself and leaning towards begrudgery. I mean I could be homeless in a city, in the pelting rain and cold with pulled muscles from coughing without any hope of medicine food or shelter. With my child. But I'm not , I'm just facing into the usual ambiguas feelings Christmas brings up from missing the dead , resurecting sibling rivallary and cabin fever. It will be strange adapting to new in laws. I do like that I can call over to The Organic Farmers house after Christmas dinner etc .
He will have had his dinner , a few hours with his Mother and sister and be ready to come home check his animals and relax. We will have a few more small presents to open and maybe watch a Christmas movie, eat  Christmas cake and have a drink. And then back to not having it as he is attempting to loose the equivilant of me, or so he says eg about 10 stone.
He lost it all before. He is a stress eater, even though he says he doesn't get stressed . And he has had alot to cope with. but now he is minding himself a bit. My well meaning aunt said I should put him on a diet, at least she didn't say it in front of him. I pushed back against the infantalising of grown men. He has decided to do it himself. Chocolate ect can be kept in the house but he wont have any. He reckons if he starts it would be too hard to ration it. Oddly enough he has no cravings.
 And me I have to learn to ration my drinking. I wouldn't care if I didn't have a drink for 6 months. yet I find it hard to have just the right amount when I do. My tolerance fluctuates too. Not the healthiest advice but I have read if you are drinking more regularly that your body builds up a resistance to the toxins. Long term this may not be so good for you though, whatever about your hangover. I have to find the balance between being entertained, entertaining and not being an arsehole.
It is a balance, the in between that I struggle with, trying not to metahphorically tumble into Hell or ascend to Heaven. Sure one of my Grandmothers, a lady who said prayers everyday yet was not a bit pushy with religion, came to the conclusion it might all be here, on Earth. That Heaven or Hell is whatever you went through or how you dealt with in life. That might be another way to explain why some suffer so much and others seem to be charmed. Or maybe we need to make the most of it while we are here and not wait until we are on the 'other side'.I am dunno really. I'm just here trying to walk the line.

Crap

Don't you just love when people piddle on your parade? I unintentionally did it to my daughter in Aldi I stupidly used my last €2 coin elsewhere and got a basket as the tills were busy, I changed my mind a queued up for a coin as I realised I was asked to get beer and it would be too heavy to lug around. The lady ahead took an age to sort herself and pay( which is fine as it was my problem). My daughter came up to me with a Ginger Bread house and I said sure we can put it in the trolley after, she thought I was dismissing her and never got it after. That was a Friday and on Sunday she said this. My Mother promptly said 'What do want that for, it's crap and what age are you? 'My girl is 13 -we never really did the Ginger Bread House when she was younger so she would just like the novelty of it. Santy is gone so it would be nice to have something else Christmassy and lots of her relatives have died or she doesn't see them so you know, give her a break.
I feel like buying a village of them a gifting them to my Mother and the rest of my family. I doubt they will appreciate it but we could place bets on who makes the most disgusted face or who says the fakest thank you. Might make it more interesting. I really am over even trying to buy for them as I don't know what they would like, it would have to fit in a suitcase (if they even want to take it with) and I'm not rich so can't actually buy expensive items that they might still not even want.
I feel Grinchy, before he turned good. Its Mr Frosty All over again. One year I was too young for him, the following too old. I think I might start a new tradition of giving a Ginger Bread House every year.

Extinct

There's a scientist in her 80's who has spent a full year of her life under the sea if you add it all up. She said there wasn't much plastic in the oceans at the time. We tended to reuse it rather than dumping it. She is calling it the second oil spill in the ocean as our plastics are made using petroleum. When she started working there were 2 billion people on the planet now there are 7 billion.7 billion people who need to be fed and housed. She is warning us we may be responsible for our own extinction. I watched her video but of course, I can't find it now.
It's a scary thought. It brings back to what I have read about Stoneage populations staying fairly static as they didn't allow what they felt was overpopulation. Food was a major issue. They did start to farm towards the end of it and as this developed they allowed their population to grow as they could feed them. 10,000 years ago our population is supposed to have been 5 million. The Hunter Gatherer lifestyle is no longer viable to feed everyone.
But we need to change the way we do it. Farming on an industrial scale can feed us by volume and cheaply but the other side is that it may not be as nutritious and causes pollution. Animal welfare is coming more to the forefront. Domestication is supposed to have begun around 13,000 thousand and 10,000 thousand years in Turkey, Iraq and South West Iran. The farm animals went westward to Europe, possibly sold on as they don't think the farmers migrated. Our bodies weren't supposed to be able to process cows milk a mutation occurred making us lactose tolerant that increased through natural selection. They are surmising that many of us in Europe are descended from cow herders as the majority of us can process milk.
I think of conversations I had with two different people about Genghis Khan of all people. He and his army killed many people, destroying villages. This is supposed to have removed 700million tonnes of Carbon Dioxide from the atmosphere and allowed the decimated villages to go back to forest which produced more oxygen. This was horrific for the people involved but it did have a knock on affect which could be regarded as 'good' for the Planet. Its possible that the mild climate at the time helped him advance as it may have allowed grass to grow which fed the 5 horses each warrior supposedly had. Oddly enough he banned torture, the selling and buying of women and the enslavement of any Mongol(which I presume means anyone he forced to follow him or who joined him voluntarily). The theft of Livestock became punishable by death which seems a bit extreme and yet he was tolerant of other religions. He was an Animist believing that everything has a soul yet interested in other beliefs. He promoted trade, writing and taking a Census. And used unskilled workers as human shields.
He represents the duality of humans we can do both great and terrible things. We are a combination mostly we are not as extreme. And yet we are all products of our own belief system. Some would say he was a great man, to others a terrible dictator. It's like that with our Planet, some say that the cycle, we have a massive disaster which unfortunately kills people to 'resetting ' the Planet. That's difficult to contemplate. Maybe its easier to say this about events that have happened thousands of years ago but I think we would find it difficult to reconcile it with more recent wars and natural disasters.
That said we should probably start heeding what is being said. David Attenborough is echoing what this scientist is telling us. He is seeing a change from his lifetime of making nature documentaries. It might not happen in your or my lifetime but the thought of us being the cause of our own doom as species is frightening.

Walking the line

Not quite managing  a blog per day on average though it is probably going to work out. I'm up so early as a my daughter is gone to Cork shopping for a friends birthday. The mother doesn't love driving (but is still a lot better than myself) and is going to Killarney and then getting the train. It's nice she's taking them but I think my one will get bored after a bit. She does not love shopping as much as the rest of them. . She isn't mean with money, she has no problem loaning money or buying a friend something if they were short of cash.It's just she'd rather hold onto it. The novelty has worn off a bit as we have been to Tralee loads recently as a family member had to go to the hospital. I don't know did I love it either. It's hard as a girl, people criticise if you dress up , dress down, reveal too much, cover up( in their opinion ).Wear make up, too much make up, no make up. It has always been there but in some ways has become more unrealistic.
I've seen several memes of the Kardashians, when they were chubbier and uncontoured, saying 'See I'm not ugly, just poor'.It's mean but the point behind it is we can all have an awkward stage  and even when we grow out of it we may need the help of makeup artists, personal stylists, dieticians, personal trainers and maybe even surgery, not to mention airbrushing, lighting, angles, posing and photoshopping to look like present-day Kardashians. I mean they don't even look like themselves when they get up in the morning
People unintentionally(or don't want to care ' sure it was said to me') say hurtful or uncomfortable things about kissing boys or you don't don't like dressing up. We went to a cousins wedding in the summer and I think the nagging about what we were going to wear put myself and my daughter off going to one again. In fairness, I find them a bit long anyway. But my Mother went on and about how she might accept a  jumpsuit if my daughter wouldn't wear a dress. She thought she was being funny and jokey but it just made my daughter uncomfortable. My Mothers friend did it too, even worse,. She's a really nice person whom I like a lot but I can't unnoticed how much she cares about appearance My daughter really likes comfortable sportswear at the moment. In fairness I felt crappy too as there were visitors coming to my boyfriend's house the same weekend, 2 bathrooms were being finished off and still more cleaning to be done. I had Airbnb changeover the Sunday and Glasshouse work the monday. I'm never this busy!
The wedding was a friday and they were coming the Sat. And I got my period. I wore a dress from the wardrobe. I don't have loads of clothes but I do have some dresses/shoes that make rare appearances for occasions.  I was waiting to see which would work as unfortunately, our figures can change temporarily due to hormones.
It stressed me out. I did get my hair and makeup down. I wasn't going to bother but I'm rubbish at doing either. I left early. I had a headache - 2 dispirin cured when I went home. In fairness, if I had been more relaxed I probably would have made the effort to go across to the shop for dispirin and toughened on. But I just didn't feel like it. My daughter wasn't bothered either. She wore a dress and white converse. The converse arrived the day before the wedding as she really couldn't concenetrate and choose as she felt she was being judged. I got out of her she might like a blue dress. I ordered two from ASOS the week before. One ended up looking cheap, not as good as the photo, was small sizing too. The second was Ted Baker, reduced. The sizing was a little bigger and it looked better than the photo. She didn't love a teeny lace detail which was sheer under the bust line but she wore it with a denim jacket over it and left that on for the day. She wasn't suppered comfortable but she was ok and I had stress over. I din't even think very much about what I was going to put on. And you know what with hair and makeup done it finished it. The dress was a Penny's one my Mother had passed on to me which had a bit of a peplum and strech so my bit of a tummy wasn't squiseh and I could eat. I will never wear spanx but commend peple who can.The Ted Baker was just fitting me so I may get a go out of it as I can't see her wearing it again.
I'm no fun anymore anyway. I try not to drink alot now, I have a man so not bothered about that or dancing. I wish I did like waltzing etc or the disco. I usn't mind the disco part so much before but now I just could't be bothered. My Mother in law said her husband used to go drinking at the bar and she'd usually sit talking and watching the dancing but that gets old after a bit. I'm more self concise about being invited to things but not having events myself . Others are more entertaining, have better sounding jobs, are just more craic. I find I generally amn't bothered but do worry sometimes about making my daughters circle small. But she's an introvert too yet plays sports and has friends. She prefers to text people rather than call same as me and to to be in contact all the time . We need downtime. Peple dont always get that and unfortunatly can alienate our extraverted friends. I need to grow a hide as thick as a rhinos but not sure how to do that. My Grandmother did say my bladder was too close to my eyes

Grand Designs

Watching a re run of Grand Designs with Kevin McCloud helping to build and Eco house using Adobe. This involves mixed clay and water and slapping it onto the walls of the house. He said 'With this method I don't get builders hands I get beauticians hands'. My daughter replied  'And Beauticians Buttcrack'

Loss

I watched a bit og a programme recently. 'Stacey Dooley Investigates Canadas Lost Girls. Stacey went to make a documentary on the disapearance of indigineneus women. There is a strecth of road dubbed Tge Highway of Tears because dozens of women have vanished or been murdered while hitchhiking on this stretch of road since the 1980's. Mostly there seems to have been issues investigating and little prosecution.

 One man Robert Pickton was was convited of murdering 6 women but confessed to his cellmate (an undercover cop) he had killed 49 and would have like to make it an even 50 but got 'sloppy'. He had a pig farm which was used more for parties to raise funds supposedly for worthy causes. One woman escaped after he stabbed and handcuffed her. She managed to stab him in self defence. They were both treated in the same hospital and a key from his pocket was used to open the handcufss. As she had a drug addiction problem she wasnt taken seriously and he wasn't convicted. His clothes from that night remained in police custody for the next 7 years. This was in 1998 and in 2004 DNA was eventually found on them from two other women. From 1998 a farm worker noticed the women who came to the farm disapeared. The police recieived a tip off that there were human remains in the freezers. The police eventually interviewed him about the missing women.They also got his permission to search the farm but it never went ahead.In 2006 he was charged with 27 counts of murder as many of the reamains couldn't be identified. He was supposed to have fed them to the pigs, mixed them with pork mince and possible given some as gifts to the police.
It was any families can only assume he killed their loved ones as there are no bodies for them to identify.Stacey asked if people thought it was because they weren't blond, blue eyed and white that the issue wasn't taken more seriously.
She spoke to a taxi driver. The woman said that the idigenous people's self esteem was bad but you know they should just get a job, not always have the hand out. She also said she asked most people for payment upfront. When Satcey pointed out that she hadn't asked them for money she shrugged. Stacey also said that the indigenious people had been there first .The taxi driver  replied in other countries the indigenious people had to shape up or else. She shrugged some more when Stacey suggested this was racist.She spoke also of them self medicating though drugs and alcohol
Stacey mentioned Residential schools where First Nations children had to attend. Often located far from their family with passes to see them being scarce. It was designed to get the children to move away from their culture and learn English. Many suffered abuse and on return weren't accepted by as they didn't belong to either culture.
It was so sad and has some reflections of what happened in Industrial Schools in Ireland.They were both goverment funded , generally run by religious organisations , supposedly for the welfare of children.
For some reason I thought of this quote by the author of The Wizard of OZ. Tony Robbins read it out on one of his history programmes.I had to google it to get the exact wording .'Having wronged them for centuries we had better , in order to protect our civilization, follow it up by one more wrong and wipe these untamed and untameable creatures from the face of the earth'

Checking yourself

Theres a recent clip from this mrning being shared online about how check yourself for testicular cancer. In this clip Chris Hughes acts as model fro Dr Chris Steel  to show a live testicual cancer check. Of course it  was valuable information but it was unusual. He was waxed and tanned, he is a former Love Island contestant so thats probably mandatory. It did generate lots of publicity though which is no bad but I do wonder will it encourage men to get cheked? Maybe it might make it easier to explain to the doctor 'You that episode of This morning with Chris Hughes, well yeah I want to get that check done'. Or will their other halves make them watch it and hint that they should do the same?
http://www.digitalspy.com/tv/this-morning/news/a871557/love-island-chris-hughes-testicular-examination-this-morning/

Generally on these shows it tends to be more womens health issues and beauty treatments involving lasers or needles that get shown. And Chris's testicle didn't get the backlash this womasn vagina did. People actively complained that that A it shouldn't be shown during daytime TV(even though you didn't actually see anything) and B that a designer vagina was a ridiculous thing to be showing anytime.

But thats why people watch it. Topics that polarise people tend to get more publicty. Like this one for Pole fitness for children. Some people thought it had to many shady connotations others simply admired the athletisim comparing it to gymnastics. Its strange the way we process things. Like wearing your knickers and bra to the beach would be bad but wearing a Bikini is fine even though they both cover the essentials .Sure you can be making up your own minds. Life would be very dull if we wer all the same.Might even get us to explore our Confirmation Bias
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xvo798HfOOo

Peek a boo

I'm not on board with Elf on the Shelf. I think it's a bit creepy to have this creature in your house moving around and watching you. bizarelly Im not as creeped out by the thought of The Tooth Fairy or the ominpresent Santa. Or Jesus/God watching you.Maybe I would have got one if my daughter was younger and others were doing it but it hasn't taken off as much in rural Ireland.It has spawned a whole new market in merchandising,.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_2_5?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=alexa+echo&sprefix=Alexa%2Caps%2C264&crid=1HPVXYWI1H0AE

And one up manship in when it comes to the antics the Elf gets up to.
http://www.dumpaday.com/funny-pictures/this-is-what-happens-when-dads-in-charge-of-elf-on-the-shelf-18-pics/

I feel a little uneasy about the Alexa's , Dots and Siri's of the world. They are there listening supposedly for your requests but  taking in everything you are saying and the sound of what you are doing. There was a case in the US where recordings from Alexa were admisable in in a murder case.https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_2_5?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=alexa+echo&sprefix=Alexa%2Caps%2C264&crid=1HPVXYWI1H0AE

Ho Ho Ho

I'd said I'd start Christmas shopping today. Online as thats the only place I can feasibly find some items.I do shop in store but have been generally avoiding shopping unless its a necessity. Grassmen DVDs and Pink Soda Sliders amoung the requests.

https://www.jdsports.ie/search/Pink+Soda+Sliders/
 In fairness I really don't buy for many. We all have enough shite and our interests have diversified so much now that I wouldn't know where to start. Plus theres a twinge of tension between me and certain family members so the giving would be done with a hint of begrudgery. You know the kind where you give a present so your Mother won't be guilting you about it. You wouldn't give it to say that you were that petty.I'm not usually that way but sure Christmas is the time to resurrect sibling rivarly as well as deck the halls. Might not be so bad though. Have to adapt to some people not being there and new family members being added.It's strange it's just another day but we have added layers of meaning to it whether your're relgious or not.
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#search/Farming/FMfcgxvzLrKfSDJQWfdpbGKhXtGGJGSH
My mother used to say it was bit rude to visit people on Christmas Day but one our neighbour's son always called in. He was the exception to the rule as he brought the gossip of the country and even makes his own cup of tea.In fairness he is great cráic and breaks the day up a bit. Loads of Charity Christmas Day swims if you feel like Cabin Fever is setting. Charitibility is always a valid excuse.
I've nearly bit my boyfriend  off for asking me what I want for Christmas about 50 times. He was particially doing it to wind me up. I made some semblence of a list as I can't think what I would actually want.
I need to save up for a new car. The Old Toyota won't pass many more NCT's and I may want his help with that. As in a short term loan as I have never had one which means my credit rating probably sucks.So far I can afford about a quarter of car so it's in my best interests to mind her for another bit. Wonder could I get him to write my 2 new tyres and radiator off as my Christmas present? He won't give me the bill anyway and I genuinly would be happy with that.I'm exstatic when he brings me the proper engine oil for her. Apparently thats one thing they are hard on . Otherwise mechanics love them as there are no electrics and parts are easy to get.I'll be sad to see her go. Wonder what I'll get next? It will probably be secondhand.Or if new see me out. That sounds  a bit morbid and maybe over optimistic. My Grandmothers never drove but both died in their nineties.
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Kojak

I used to have a doll called Kojack. He had a stuffed body like a pillow with hard plastic limbs and you guessed it a bald head. My Father brought him from the fair one day. We were wondering what to call him for  bit. Willie Murphy used to visit .When he saw him he  said 'Whose that? Kojack?' .I can't ever remember thinking that it was weird. He's still around but my daughter realigned his gender.
                                                    

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If you left a bowl of sugar or a tub of butter out on the table Willie used to take a spoon of either, eat it fast and carry on talking as if nothing had happened. His Mother was my Fathers Godmother. She was supposed to have believed in alot of piseogs or superstitions.His Godfather was a nephew of The Tec. he was a farmer, not a detective so I dont know where he got that name from. He used to have alot of cattle when there was a bounty on the number of animals. They lived out, wandering big tracts of land. There was no rules about being under 30months for payments. If there was no price for cattle they just left them run on.This meant there could be huge five year old bullocks in the mart with vast horns.Maybe not quite as big as this one but you get the idea.The Organic Famer remembers his Father bringing animals from there hill .They had been checking up on them , that weren't lame, walking around, not loosing weigh but not seen them up close. They had huge horns-not allowed now unless the cattle are rarebreeds or you are sselling directly to a factory. He said even though he was used to animals he was a bit wary of them as he had never seen any as big
https://www.facebook.com/NBCNews/videos/489827674838996/UzpfSTEwMDAwMzU0NDAyNDM4NDoxODIyOTQ0MTgxMTY3MDMy/


https://www.facebook.com/NBCNews/videos/489827674838996/UzpfSTEwMDAwMzU0NDAyNDM4NDoxODIyOTQ0MTgxMTY3MDMy

Inertia

 I  feel  irritable. I have moved myself the last two days meal prepping, doing some cleaning but didn't really go outside. It's Wintery weather but I could have gone for a short walk. It's more my tolerance for the mild bickering and unintentional  mansplaining. Really standard stuff but it feels a bit like Groundhog DayI'm sensitised to it at the moment. Mild jokes about things I'm self depreciative of are hitting nerves. I feel like a child, not in a rose-tinted way. It's because I'm stuck .Again.I've been occupying myself mentally but still feel as if I'm not fully grown. I don't know at what point that changes. Do people have a light bulb moment when they say'This is it? I'm finally an adult' before sliding back  into ' Second Childhood'  .

That what my Grandmother called old age, where you go back to saying precisely what you think, not eating things if you don't like them and telling people if you think they got fat. To their face. Or 'fuck off from me with that thing' when you win an unwanted raffle prize, making them give you a different one. My Grandmother didn't do that it was another lady now in her 90's. The fat thing, she definitely did that.

Maybe that's the stage I have to wait for. When you end up just being you and not worrying about keeping up any semblance of appearances. Then a feeling of anxiety creeps up when things become more difficult for you to do. My boyfriend was saying there a good chance my daughter will live long and have good health. They are pioneering new treatments to manage incurable diseases that people can live with for a long time. The new medication will improve the quality of life. I mean even now you see people well into their 90's in excellent health mentally and physically. Of course, genes play a part, but I think having an interest and being active every day make a huge difference.

I hope I will be one of those people. I dread the thought of being over dependent. The lack of privacy, loss of autonomy.Even though I'm really not being master of my own destiny anyway. I mean we all need help, even if not intellectually or physically disabled. It's the losing power of attorney over myself. Maybe If you get to that stage, you don't care. Perhaps I should just focus on making enough money to pay for everything I need. Then I can take care of a much as possible. I only have one child and I don't want it to be all on her. Sure even now my Mother jokes to her that she'll mind her when she's old. She's probably hedging her bets.S he always said the first child was the guinea pig and she wanted to keep her last baby young forever. I'm the eldest

6 degrees of Separation

I was in search of Swagbucks and decided to google things that run through my head-many things run through my head.I googled 'Why are they still allowed show comedies from the 70's which are a bit racist by todays standards'.Which led me to a thread about shows I'd never seen in the US , next click a case in where a judge replied to a man she was sentencing 'Well you're a bit of a Cunt yourself ' after he called her one. He told her to go fuck herself , to which she replied 'And you too'.She had to apologize but was not sanctione for her 'momentary lapse of judgement ' ,  as she called. In fairness I thought she was quite reserved but a Judge can't really be saying that.The man was being jailed for making racist slurs and insulting a Black Carribean Mother in Harlow ,Essex.It was his 9th breach of an ASBO in 11 years.
I used to live in Harlow, Essex. My daughter was born in Princess Alexandria Hospital. Where Victoria Beckham had some of her babies. You could see the planes circling Buckinnham Palace from the house I was living in when they had their World Cup Party.
I saw Jade Goody coming out of the local Tesco's.She used to own a beauticians called Uglys. She sadly dies very young from Cervical Cancer.I believe her husband Jack Tweed was convicted of assaulted a taxi driver in the same court referenced above.Jeff Brazier , the father of her son's , lives back in Essex with them now.
Today the postman showed The Organic Farmer a photo of his cousin. She is friends with somone else that the postman knows. He randomly met her in bar when he was chattting and they figured the connection.

My  youngest brothers girlfriend  Katie is from Waterford. Her Aunt is a Glass Artist , moved to Kerry and made pieces in the gallery I worked . She knew my Aunt whose from Tippereary but lives in Waterford now. And Katie's cousin is friends with Jade. Her parents gave her up for adoption when they were very young but see her now. They live in Kerry and worked with a very good friend of mine in the past. Sadly I've completely ruined that relationship by ghosting it. I did that with so many friendships in the last ten years. I don't think it was having a child that did it. There are several people who went to school with me who've had kids and still stayed in conatact with eachother.It's a major flaw of mine. But at least everyone else seems to be satying connected.

Have kids, it's great cráic

My daughter was doing French Homework. She was suppsed to draw a map of the house and write in names of rooms etc in French. She forgot the bathroom. I told her to tell the the teacher we have none.She said yeah I'll tell her we dont poop. Geniuses's got to keep the knowledge in'
I was squeezing between a table and and arm chair she said 'You're not a chipstick'
She also thought that it was 'Don't commit  a  Dultry' . And peole must do  'Dultry' alot thats why bothered to put it in the 10 Commandments.

Get me out of here

I never really watch reality shows. I have watched lots of soaps , that was when others I was living with watched them I got into the habit of watching with them. If one features a storyline all the rest tend to follow over the next few weeks. Now my daughter likes Hollyoaks and I'm kinda starting to watch it . She likes I'm a Celebrity ,Get Me out of here too. My boyfriend won't let her watch soccer on his television yet he'll  watch people drinking liquidised fishguts with her.I was nearly getting the heaves .
The weirdest things run through my head.Like if you  have stomach problems from the change in diet and different drinking water.Everyone knows as you all have to use the same non flushable toilet and empty it. there doesn't seem to be any compost or straw to throw over it to disguise the contents and the smell.So everyone knows. So what happens if you get your period? I presume the female contestants take care of it by having birth control fitted or taking pills back to back. I don't think you could be dealing with that in there.Medication is more than likely allowed. We've seen you can be exempt from task due to medical reasons with Ann Hegarthy. I don't begrudge her going in there I just can't get over how brave she is to put herself in that situation. I understand she is one of the higher paid contestants , which is a factor. She has money problems due to issues with her autism. I'm not sure exactly what the story is as only so much comes up online. She will be viewed differently after this as her Governess character is quite serious and refined. It must be worth their while going on it though even for a bit as they keep getting celebrities willing to do it.Except for Gemma Collins when it all got too much for her 'I don't need the money babes' in fairness I don't blame her.
                                                   

South West

Watching re runs of Ballykissangle.They're having their own version of  Puck Fair with a ram instead. Someone mentioned plagarism but Assumpta reckoned the goat wouldn't sue. The local politician on it wanted to copy a bar runners race from The Galway Oyster festival too. He has a pop up bar for the 3 days to coin it in with the festival and go into competition with the only other local bar. Asumpta is the bridesmade of his daughter and her groom is the local guard.Tis  a mash up of every little villge's bit of a festival the lenght of the country.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MN-sH4IOve0


A legend of the fair is a goat that broke away from its herd, while the rest of the herd headed towards the mountains, and warned the town's inhabitants while the “Roundheads” were pillaging the countryside around Shanara and Kilgobnet at the foot of the McGillycuddy Reeks. The advancing army of Oliver Cromwellduring his conquest of Ireland in the 17th century triggered the pillages around the countryside. The goat's arrival alerted the inhabitants of danger, and they immediately set out to protect the town and their herds. This is explained in the traditional Irish ballad, An Poc ar Buile (the Mad Puck Goat).


 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAGhiW3qQvQ


Tommy Tiernan referenced it too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl-Etuy_VQk

We have a strange culture of crowning animals but thats the Pagan part still in us. Down from the Tuath De Danan , the Fir bolg and the Fomoreans. A line back to the book of invasions before a Welsh slave boy and plant brought us the idea of Christianity.

Sure even Father Ted had The King of The Sheep. Podge and Rodge didn't bother , they just put Skelligs Chocolate Factory on Kerry Katonas arse instead.And then  Aliens landed in Listowel

Lost in Translation

I'm reading comments from English people on The Unmumsy Mum. blog.They frequently call what I call the worktop the bench, what I call drawers or presses   they call 'draws'or cupboards. My Childs Father is English yet his Mother is Irish.He  didn't know what I was on about when I talked about putting things away in' presses' . He just let me witter on about it for ages before he finally figured it out.And we're all supposed to be speaking English.And what about ditches and dykes? To me the height is the ditch and the hollow the dyke. And you don't dig a ditch you dig a drain. I think tis the opposite way around in the rest of the world.And what about housecoats, dressing gowns and bathrobes?
Ruth: the ruth frequently mentioned is this one. She's fictional. No Real Ruths were harmed in the making of this thread.

Heres the thread for you to enjoy. I never thought things like this could be so funny yet here I am skitting in the corner with my  13 year old looking at me as if I'm not right in the head.Are you a Ripper or a Snipper?
/https://www.facebook.com/theunmumsymum/

Broadening my mind

I've pre ordered Constance Hall's book for teen girls. I'll be reading it first as she did say there would be things we have to decide if our teen is ready to read about. In fairness I think it's me that will enjoy it more than her. I read more of the comments on her post re what what stay at home Moms do when the kids were at school with the their free time.Of course plenty joked about the cliched eat bon bons on the couch and watch daytime TV(which people seem to think is worse than other TV for some reason). I'm not sure where that cliche came from , it wasn't there before. Women were at home doing plenty of things that probably took us more effort than it does now. Like growing and harvesting vegetable, feeding hens, baking bread, bringing in firewood or turf to keep a fire constantly going, handwashing everything and drying it without a dryer. I presume in Winter things were clean but but smelt of whatever fuel was it was hung in front of to dry.And they had more people around them with bigger families and neighbours helping eachother.I'm sure there was plenty squabling and bitching back then or criticism of who didn't do enough work or didn't do it 'right'.And I don't think any of us want to turn back the clock even though some aspects of this lifestyle do appeal.
Some said they went back to work ,sure what else would you be doing? Others talked about having a day drink, a date with BOB or getting high instead as they found it affected them more positively than alcohol. From what I understand Marijuana is legal in some states in Australia so they probably weren't doing anything illegal.
 I wasn't surprised that they were doing any of these things, I was surprised they were putting it out there on a public page. My days are alot less excitng but yet I'd be scared of the backlash. Especially seeing the trolling Constance gets. To the point there was a secret Facebook Hate Group that sent her threats and naked photos to her ex husband. I mean I don't agree with everything she says and wouldn't be comfortable with her level of sharing but no one is forcing me to bother with her. Much the same as the Kardashians etc. I mean if something isn't for you why not scroll on and give the attention to the things you like? It seems like a a complete waste of time spew hate at someone you don't even know(ditto  goes for people you do know )
I mean how to people put up with it? They share an authentic part of themselves or talents which seems to polarise people. Of course I think negatively but thats generally fleeting. I'm having a bad day, I'm not using my time wisely, why can't I write like her?Thats my thing , my one issues. I do think it's good to share and it makes people feel less alone but making yourself vulnerable is hard.

Penelope Trunk did this when she found she couldn't cope in Boston.http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2018/10/11/the-benefits-of-transparency-are-bigger-than-you-can-imagine-which-is-why-transparency-feels-so-hard/#more-14819http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2018/10/11/the-benefits-of-transparency-are-bigger-than-you-can-imagine-which-is-why-transparency-feels-so-hard/#more-14819 There were supportive comments but plenty saying she'd made her own bed . One even said they didn't like how she advised them when they paid for coaching so they wouldn't be harsh which came across as 'good enough for you'.A few said she shouldn't share so much about her boys, that they will resent her in the future.  'Not that Melissa' ( she's not the Melissa who Penelope writes about) comments that the mores on sharing and privacy are changing so in theory we will all have less shame and uncomfortablness around our so called flaws.

Peak notions

Tis far frrom sweet potatoe and mooli I was reared. Yet that's what I'm having for dinner. My repertoire was fairly limited before but now at least most of it is even edible. I did end up throwing out some food as things got in the way of my schedule of using things up. Only thing is living in the countryside I can justify to myself  the small amount I threw out. I give it to the birds or cows if its vegetable peelings etc and they are in the field near the house. They love bread as a treat to, the cows that is I don't think we're mean to give to birds anymore.

I was watching a short clip today a friend posted. It was about how we have moved away from home cooking and fetishished into something we watch TV chefs do. He said we've convinced ourselves that is a drudgery not a joy. It can be a drudgery though, Penelope Trunk linked to article about this (which I can't find now on her blog) which spoke of gathering firewood , smoky kitches walking'working hours to get the produce and little dogs being trained to turns spits. It can be ardouse,boring and unapreciated . Except when it isn't . You were in a good mood, the fresh produce wasin, short queueand everyone was either hungry enough or just liked your food for a change. Weirdly its often the dish you put the least effort into making they love.
He aknowledged it can cure problems but also create time problems. It is true that we have moved towards processed convenience foods. They are easy and I absolutely do use them at times. But the vegetables I buy may be from depleted soil or chicken may have low omega in it even if it's freerange. The fish may be farmed.And I think the pig maybe only got grain inside. The  heifers got grass as well as grain. I only know this because they were  my boyfriends animals and he bought alot back from the butcher.
We don't really eat lamb but that often gets a fed a diet high in grain even while it's out on the field. Much of this is to do with our demand for cheap animal protein. The rest is  weather and over stocking. If the it rains too much or the opposite grass won't grow . if you are overstocked they eat it ahead of themselves and you have to top them up with grain or other feed.
 Ideally I should be moving away from animal protein.For health reasons if not ethical . It can be cheaper too  At the moment I bulk things out with vegetable and lentils. I add chickpeas but he picks them out , my daughter thinks they taste of nothing but will eat them. She's taller than me now without scurvy or rickets( they seem to be two different diseases but I think you can be unfortunate enough to get both)  so she must be taking in some nutrition from  her diet.
If we did all stop eating meat I'm thinking farm animals would no longer be kept except for zoo's or some sort of  hobby farm where people could pay to see animals we used to farm. The cat and dog food industry might need farm animals unless they too adapt and find what our pets can viably eat instead.
Anyway, heres a  pic of chopped Mooli , Sweet Potatoe, Peppers, Onions and Rooster Potaotes. Chopping is tedius but I do like the laziness of shoving in the oven for an hour to roast.Think I prefer Mooli raw in salads though.

Good intentions

So this 30 day blogger thing is not quite going to plan. I'm getting the blogd done but every single day ,sometimes I do two to make up the numbers. It's still god practice. I could have done it in the morning but instead I di some housework and faffedaround on Swagbucks. Well I did need to get stuff done in the morning as I wasn't sure if I was going to collect a wheelchair with my fella in the afternoon. His Mother is sharper than I am, still does books for a couple of people(even though she's winding that down now) , was able to check up Iceland Supermarket prices online when I didn't give her the receipt-she does feed me sometimes -and insist on paying me the correct amount. But her mobility is getting shook. This wheelchair is a transit one so she will have to be pushed .That might best please her. She 's in her 80's and has been driving since she was 10 as her Dad was a mechanic.THer and her siblings used to go with him to collect cars and when the cops saw them driving back, they would just say you shouldn't be driving ,your're too young, and let  them carry on. Her old car was scrapped and she has notions of getting a new one, wheeling herself out to it and taking off. She can walk but its harder for her now.

 The other issue is her driving licence. She ahs lived here for 40 odd years, passed the driving test here( did't get in the Amnesty which gave people licences without ever having to pass ), renewed over the years and now they are telling her she needs to spend a few hundres euros to become an Irish citizen. This is a recent ruling. She was dispointed after having to travel to the same area we did for the wheelchair, 50 miles away, to be told she couldn't renew. They first told her she would have to get a PPSN , this was in her local area so not too inconvenient. Her daughter immediatly booked this and was informed after re Irish Citizenship. So the Healy Rea's , Brendan Griffin and Norma Moriarty have been written to . Noyt sure how mcuh they can actually influence but it makes my as good As Mother in Law feel like there's something being done. She may never drive again but she wants her licence irregardless.           
                                                    
                                     

Werk werk werk

It's strange , I 've been reading more of the comments on Constance Halls post where she asked what do SAHM's do all day(and hoped they mainlined wine ,sobering up just on time for the school run). I don't tent to read to much of them on Mommy Bloggers(not sure I like this title so much for the genre , I mean they do exhist outside of being Mothers) as they can descend into bickering,defensiveness and the people feeling they have to justify themselves. A follower said she does chores inside and out,runs a small businesss , takes care of her elderly Dad, walks the dog and does yoga while being responsible for 2 girls activities and is still expected to get a job.  She didn't mention a spouse or any extra help so it's possible she's doing everything herself. Which I think is no mean feat even if you have all the help.
Constance replied that society isn't set up for everyone to 'work' ( as in go out to a job everyday) ,some of us need to care for the young and old. Which is bloody work too! But we as a society tend to disregard this work now as something people just have to do and should'nt be paid or receive supports to do.And it is something Penelope Trunk frequently refrains, albeit more bluntly. I do think they both make valid points. The thing with Penelope though is that it scares me when she says that ideally there should be a bread winner and someone who takes care of the home. In an idillyic world this would be fine . But the society most of us live in , I know I'm generalising, we need money to buy the things we need to survive. We don't tend to live communally or near our family anymore so we have to somehow provide these things for ourselves. I'll put it this way , I'm scared of being left high and dry without any money of my own. Hell, when I showed my 13 year old this meme she said 'Why doesn't she have one already?

Marketing

I like Constance Hall, not everything she says or does but theres something thet really appeals to me to me about how her life is panning out. That it wasn't or isn't 'perfect' but she genuinly does seem happy now. She has raised a serious amunt of money to build homes for abused children in Africa where the majority of the donations go to the cause . This is a difficult thing to do.Bureaucracy can swallow alot of it. She seems to getting help with admin on her online shop. Today she posted about genuinely wanting to know what Stay At Home Moms do all,hoping they mainly did what they wanted with their time. As she has done variations of the working/staying at home it is a topic that resonates with her.From a marketing point of view it was Gold.

People immediatly started to post their beliefs about what you should do with your time especially if the kids were at school. This came from full time/part time /stay at home moms. It generated a huge response with people also posting pics and links of creative things they make and sell . It was fab for their business.It's great that she doesn't seem to care if people advertise their own business's or sell /pass on her books or clothing if it didn't quite fit or others couln't afford it. Others just vented a little as they are in the trenches with under 5's (maybe multiple under 5's ) so that helped them feel heard. Some were feeling temporary empty nest syndrome and wondering what to with themselves as they were so used to having their sidekicks taking up all their time.
Others did what my daughter siad I do, list out mundane things I have done all day or say I 'pottered around'. I think I'm trying to justify to myself what I do by saying it out loud. My Seasonal Airbn and Glasshouse work are quite the moment but I have plenty to do otherwise. Yet there's still a little nagging feeling scratching away. It whispers 'Yeah  but, other people do all this ,with a full time job and multiple children. Yes they may have extra help but they do organise it all. And volunteer in the community ,while have a social life'.  I've learned to go do something, anything for  bit to distract me from this. Otherwise you go down a rabbit hole where you end up feeling as if you don't contribute to society (even though you're raising the next generation) and whats the point of you at all?
The funniest comment was 'I masturbate and plot how to get the children to do what I want '
If still havn't done your Christmas shopping heres her shop.
https://likeaqueenshop.com/
                                                 

Aspirations

Generally I don't get caught up in what others have. I get you will be shown the best bits of their lives , not the anoyance but yet I've had a taste of it recently. Of watching others growing gardens full of beautiful fruit and vegetables , with their kids helping and even lighting fires(relax ,his mother was watching him) or having huge birthday parties or getting more qualifications. I'm not usually like this. I feel I'm stagnating. I don't want to 'waste' anymore money or time doing doing courses that I don't really do much with after . Even if I do enjoy the classes and the journey through them. I don't enjoy talking about what I'm doing now with my life. I get pidgeon holed as I don't really have a canned answer. I probably should work at that as the questions are inevevitable.
I have missed a day posting a blog , I'm attempting to publish on every day. Done rather than perfect.I find that my family always seem to need to talk to me or want something if I start typing. Scrolling through the internet doesn't seem to have the same effect. It happened too when I had my teeny bit of a garden. But really I do waste time when I'm on my own. Yup, same 24 hours as everyone else, many perks that others don't have. On the flip side I don;t have the skillls networking or otherwise that others excell at.

Sky falling

I'm thinking more about my own mortality( I wrote mentality first). I'm seeing my immediate family shrinking,people getting older, dying. Growing up and doing there own thing. Connections drifting. Alot through my own fault I don't keep in contact .Not even  with the ones who live near me.Not quite estrangement but distance.I have nothing to say or it really isn't interesting to them.I find I want to avoid it to an extent as it makes me sad. It makes me think of a time thats not there anymore. What happens though when they really are gone? I'm making my daughters circle small. I can't keep on trading off the goodwill that people have towards my parents, care who I'm related to or have crossed my path.
My Mother owns the house I have the use of, the Organic Farmer his own. I'm fortunate they share with me but that might not last .Right now I don't think I will ever own my own house,bought or built but neither do I have the fear of homelessness. It's more a case of lonliness . The wider world might not tolerate my quirks so readily as those who are used to me.There are so many things that they help me with and tolerate. I'm scared of having to be totally independent well I don't know is anybody really but they tend to be more self sufficient then me. And when the rest are gone my daughters stuck with me so I have to do better,save more ,have something to leave her. I don't mean just materialistically , I mean a support network. People who will mind her after  I'm gone. Not when she's young but when she's an adult. Help here get on with life, set up bank accounts, book driving lessons, buy a car, get through college (if she wants to go). I'm haveing a bit of an exentencial crisis about this. Even though the odds are I will live into my 90's like both my Grandmothers ,sure I have a 101 year old Grand Aunt! It feels as if things are pasing me by or I'm not quite up to speed with other people my age or embarrasingly ,younger.
I need to get out of my own head, carry some water or chop some wood, that might help with enlightenment

Checking out

Watching a bit of Gordon Ramsey's kitchen Nightmares. Same deal as Dave Ramsey etc it gets under my skin when he critcises people. He's right -I just don't like the way he does it! Yet if he was nice and quite about it there would be no show. We claim we don't like drama but get bored fast if everything seems amicable. A local business had to close recently due to health and safety violalations. I'm wondering is they are so used to looking at things everyday that they tune out and stop seeing the dirt or don't want to. That fresh eyes saw  the problem  or is that 'there's none so blind as does who don't want to see'. Does life just weigh us down to the point that it's too much effort to keep up the standards?
It's like with your children you fall into habits where you think they only like and can do certaing things.Then someone surprises you by telling you about a something they have done or eaten that they wouldn't do in a million years for you.Us4ually it is a pleasant surprise.
I'm opening my own eyes a bit not too much though. I don't think I can deal with the full extent of mistakes I've made or am making. I'd rather do baby steps. If I look too close I'll get paralysed.
We've all seen these memes about everyone having the same 24 hours in the day (including the Goddess that is Beyonce)
                                           
                                                     



I do need time on my own but I waste rather than spend alot of  time. I 'm taking better care of my money though. I've started to save  €2 per day(well I raid the jar and top it up to what  it should be at again). I've money transferred every month to a savings account and am tring to be cleverer about using vouchers . I mean if you don't  need it anyway and are buying it just because you have a voucher? I doubt Beyonce worries about stuff like this. Maybe she did one time.Or used the 'Arts Grant' as Tommy Tiernan refers to it  i.e lived in the dole. You're allowed joke about this when you when you've mad eit. Then it was worth it and the cogs of capitalism continue fueled by your new your new tax paying wages.

 But what if you don't make it.Aren't other contributions important?Helping your neighbour, giving their kids lifts, pasing things to those who can't reach in the Supermarket. Sounds very twee but I'm to think of things that contribute to society and don't require you to march or petition your local Councillor or become a vegan or The Moneyless Man. It doesn't alwaya have to be militant or public. What if it's quitely picking rubbish up off the beach and chatting to your child as she falls asleep?

Attempts

Im thinking about attempting the 30 Day blogging challenge not because I have alot to say but I need to practise my writing to get unstuck. I can't seem to write fiction at the moment . It's all a bit heavy. I've been listening to Dave Ramsey again. It's still getting under my skin! Same as Penelope Trunk , Tony Robinson and my tutor on the never ending writers course that I'm doing(why I thought no deadline was good is beyond me)I say I want advice and to improve myself but I don't actually want to hear it! I get defensive,have to calm down and then I see the wood for the trees. It's difficult to be objective about ones own life yet we know exactly what everyone else should do. We aren't as emotionaly invested and love to meddle anyway. We are all experts-we are prone to not admitting we don't know. I'm appreciating more the help I have and the help my parents had when I was young. We don't realise until we have to adult ourselves.Whether we are parents or not.I won't say we take it for granted ,it's more a case of we assume evryone else's family helps them .The odd tenner thrown our way ,the phone credit top up or the the food parcel. Instead we miss it it when it stops. When nothing else is coming in to fill the void. When you don't get a break from having to make all the decisions and organise all the back up. When we get decision fatigue, when we have to carry the anxiety of making sure some else is taking care of your kids when you have  to do something else.I'm luckier than most. I'm around alot of the time. My Airbnb is seasonal and and so is the Glasshouse work which means I can largely suit myself. My boss in The Glashouse is flexible, thats partially his personality and partially that its difficult to get people now to do the work. So I tend to be able to re jig  to suit things. I like this-I've loads to do but it's not pressurised. I'm not an organised person so the Airbnb app and my bosses texts help as I can check back and re read them plus Airbnb sends reminders. My daughter is 13 now so if she had to let herself in and I be fine for a short period of time if I'm coming back from either. I used to love that bit of safe independence as a child. My Grandmothers house was only over the road from my parents and Dad used to be around the farm when Mom was at work so I could flit between the two places. She likes it too, heats some food I've left in the microwave and curls up watching Youtube videos for a break after school. We do sit at the table too-I'm not bothered if it's just the two if us. In fact people think she's very quite and mannerly, generally she saves the noise and cutting loose for at home.She's really funny but wouldn't share that with alot of people as she's wary of reactions. Will they laugh or critisise?

Ethics of sharing

Ethics.Daily Mail taking posts from Part Time Working Money page which is public without permission of any sort . They pretty much reprint what was posted with a bit of a byline from the reporter. They quite like to take some of her more sweary quotes out of context and use it as a headline or hightlight it. They did it on a closed Facebook page called 'Feed Yourself on £1 a day by a journalist called Siofra Brennan(whom I'm presuming as some sort of Irish heritage). I was from a thread where a a poster asked about cheap meal ideas and easy ways to prepare them in a hotel room if possible in order to keep down the cost of her trip. None of the names were blurred-she wrote what people suggested and then copied and pasted their quotes. People were a bit pissed off with it as they may not have wanted anyone in their immediate circle to know they were in the group . Some of their suggestions would not really be covered by hotel insurance or encouraged  as they may set off firealarms or leave the room smelling of food(maybe even burnt).
They Daily Mail didn't really apologies either. They said if you posted it online ,even in a closed froup, it was still open to however many thousand members it has.They simply stated they are not obliged to get consent even though politness and transparency indicates they should.I don't think Ive ever commented on that page. I only joined for a nosy to see what I'm wasting and what ideas people had for bulking meals out inexpensively. I'm not on the breadline but I would like to save for when the Old Toyota gives up the ghost and my daughter wants a car/to go to college/deposit for a house. I joined the Food Surviving group too the same reasons. Some of the combinations I would not like or even think of but it gives ideas too for when you are eating though what you have in and are down to your last random items.And you know ,you can jut scroll on if the post isn't for you
I'm on another Get Paid To page where admin periodically have to remind people that you don't know who else is on the page who may be employed by Swagbucks etc. So you know don't post about setting up email addresses to get fake referrals for points etc. They are all for using your time efficiently on these sites but not actually trying to swindle money out of them. They actually have an admin who has an internet marketing agency who is execellent at what she does plus many of the other admins are very good when it comes to tech glitches etc on the sites . They help massively by answering alot of questions that the GPT pages would otherwise have to deal with.
In Part Time Working Mummy's case it didn't really do any damage. she has a book published,merchandise, speaking events and has had sponsorship from Tesco Mobiles. All which means she can monetise her page and continue to help victims of domestic violence while still working part time and caring for her family. The publicity ,even though it was given a negative slant, actually only drew more followers to her page who might not have otherwise have heard of her. I've yet to see something positive from the £1 a day debacle but maybe ot might hightlight that some genuinly can't afford to spend alot on food or even have to think about it as it impinges on other aspects of their finances. I've seen elsewhere 'Would you wear on your shirt what you post online? ' . Of course most of us wouldn't . Same as we wouldn't wear many of our thoughts or private conversations. Because we are complex beings. We say we demand candour but we don't really like it. A little sugar coating and socially subscribed responses keep the world revolving.

And on an entirely different note, Podge and Rodge put  Skelligs Chocolate Factory on Kerry Katonas arse. They reckoned it could be the new Ring of Kerry. Yes their brand of humour probably belongs in the nineties but I still did get a bout of nostalgic laughter at them Monday night.

                                                        

Swallowing Bitter Pills

Listening to Dave Ramsey on Youtube '10 Unbelieveable Calls' and I'm not liking it. I don't have any debt but its weirdly hitting nerves with me. I have an old car which cost me I think €1,500-2,000 can't quite remember as it was 5 or 6 years ago I bought it second hand. Its 2001 and tipping away. I have have €1,000 saved ,all things he advocates .And yet the way the way he's speaking to strangers that I have no connection to is getting under my skin. It's strange as I have read some of his advice and heard others talking about it yet didn't have this feeling. I understand not sugar coating things but he does seem to make these people feel worse first. This is even when he says he has done stupid things himself . It doesn't feel like empathy. This is probably because of my personality type,INFP according to Myers Briggs. This is dismissed by many,not sure I believe it wholesale but it's kind of usefull to give you ideas about how you operate. I think I take things too personally and am far too sensitive.I feel uncomfortable when he says they are stupid repeatidly and oh wow how bad he would feel if he was in their position. People are caught in a cycle of taking loans to pay for things including education( this is US residents) . In the US family don't seem to be able to help their kids financially as much unless they are Ritchie Rich. There seems to be this notion of 'Living the American Dream' .This 'Dream' was aquired by some through the work or land of others, a historical occurence in many countries . So the only way many can see their way to this or the appearance of it is though loans which they can't always pay ot back.This is what they have seen in their own families . Its hard to see the issues with that then. Sure if everyone else is doing it and has debt sure whats's the problem? We all find it hard to be objective.
                                                     

I did feel less icky towards the end of the calls as Dave did give his course for free  and did genuinely help them. It reminded me of places where I've worked in the past.The person who could come across as a bit gruff was the most helpful and the person who seemed so friendly,spoke so nicely to you often left you high and dry.

He does advocate asking for outside help even from your pastor if you are religious. Personally , I don't think your pastor could advise you financially but maybe they could help you steady yourself emotionally. He does send people to paid fro marriage counselling which is important as generally financial issues are usually a sypmtom of a wider problems.I disliked a little what he said about'Gold diggers' when a man who is financially stable and was wondering how to avoid this. Like do these people even exhist ? Or if  they do is it just because there is a niche for them with rich people (not necessarily male) who want want to fund someone to be around them?

There's a group in the UK called Christians Against Poverty who  help anyone with financial /practical advice .In Ireland we have St Vincent De Paul who seem to do something similar .Neither requires you to be a Christian. Generally people don't take advantage but they can be a less than clever.There was a teenager who got a cheque to help him with his education which he posted online beside a photo of a pint saying drinks where on him. Suffice to say the cheque was cancelled and he got a talking to. They will still help him but they will mange it for him.I think they gave him the benefit of being young and oblivious.

I still don't love Dave Ramsey or all his quotes .But maybe if I can be a little more thick skinned  I can be like this in the New Year. Or more likley my daughter. I think she is actually my money Guru.

                                                                                                           

Meal planning

Meal planning seems to be the thing now, think they had a version of this before but it was more of a set menu .Or you know, just eat what was actually there.Pre famine Ireland we seemed to be having more of a seasonal diet with about 20 variations of milk. I presume those that were lactose intolerant could drink goats milk?Maybe they just thought  that cows milk didn't agree with everyone. And oats and barley don't have gluten so coeliacs  were in luck.One thing they seemed to have in common with the Masai is bleeding a cows vein for blood without killing the animal.The Masai seem to add it to cows milk wheres I've seen that in Ireland they used to make a version of black pudding with it. The version I know better is made from a dead pigs blood. There was a local strongman Iron Mike(Mike Murphy) who won several Rás's and Ring of Kerry Cycles who is supposed to have stopped along the way to drink cows blood  and eat raw steaks he bought  fresh from the butchers.To the Masai and pre famine Ireland cattle were valued so they tended to keep them for milk for as long as possible or slaughter bull calves. The Pre famine diet seems to have had greater variation from pig to hedgehog . Can you imagine ifI served up a hedgehog? They foraged more and hunted game until they were prohibited from doing so. I'm not jelous about that part. My foraging is usually limited to the supermarket. I've grown some vegetables but I'm not that greenfingered.


 
This meal plan sounds effortless. And apparently actually nutritious.

Sample meal from Workhouses in the 1840's.Would be kind of handy in a way, doesnt' involve much thinking
Kilrush
Breakfast:Men 4lbs potatoes, 1 pint skimmed milk Dinner:The same, with herring instead of milk in Winter. Supper ,Not always provided.
Women3 lbs potatoes, 1/2-1 pint skimmed milkThe same.
Scarrif
 Breakfast: Men. 5lbs potatoes, 1 pint sour milk. Dinner.the same. Herring when milk cannot be had.The same
Women 3lbs potatoes, 1 pint milk.The same. The same.