Sat Feb 3rd , 2018, My brothers 21st and the weekend of my fathers funeral. Your breathing had changed,worrying my Mother. You weren't taking in any fluids She took you to your doctor, later he and South Doc visited the house..Local (off duty ) nurses called and reassured,correctly not giving false hope. My Aunts who had minded their own Mother before she passed helped my Mother now.Other friends and family also did practical things -things we were too distracted to even think of The palliative nurse from local hospitals and the Daffodil night nurse were invaluable. You don't understand how much they put in mentally and physically making families and patients comfortable. Because that is all they can do-the end is inevitable As a neighbour said, he never saw you in a hurry.You held on for a week giving people plenty time to travel. We joked about 'Who were you waiting for?' Your Carers were very fond of you..The nurses in the hospice ward were very good to you when you went in occasionally for respite. Mom still called to twice a day the first time you went . Unfortunatly you had become all too familiar with hospitals
No burials of a Sunday, we kept you for two nights in the house.You used to go to lots of funerals and wakes. I'm not as good-I either don't hear or am too afraid of my own emotions.I would think its its not my loss, why am I bawling? It's not bringing comfort to anyone.But I didn't feel that way at yours. I wasn't judging anybody else on what they did or didn't do.I felt numb. I'm sad your gone but happy you don't have a health problems anymore.
My daughter can still remember when you could speak a little and throw a ball to her.And when you used to lie beside her when she didn't like the dark. One of your Carers reckoned she told you all her secrets and you were the only man that kept them. She hoped you were running , jumping and shouting in heaven. Who knows?It's a nice thought anyway.
