Architecture

Watching a programme about architecture narated by Leonard Nemo. He likens the stained glass windows in cathedrals to multi media messages for a largely illiterate population. My daughter is giggling in the corner becaus they keep talking about 'Flying Buttresses'.

Lunch time

Had the most bizarre conversation with my boyf at lunch time. He'd like to throw a certain gang of politicians and a group of sportspeople he didn't like.into the sea  He reckoned he'd nuke the Skelligs and re employ the Skelligs boats to take boatloads out to dump them instead. He wouldn't be racist , he'd just get rid of whover he didn't like. His right hand man, The Plumber, once wouldn't allow a  contractor to put down a telegragh pole as he didn't like him 'They can bring a machine from Russia before I'll let him in'  . And they did( no they didn't). After all their clearing there would be less congestion on the roads. I likened him to Genghis Khan, the good part ( yes there was pros too, though the villages he decimated might not think so). He is supposed to have cleared 700m tonnes of Carbon from the athmosphere as the swathes of land and cultures he wiped out returned to carbon absorbing forests. He said they would probably have to reach an agreement with Putin as he has Nuclear power ( he wasn't worried about North Korea). He loves fish,I asked would he keep eating it after knowing what it had fed on on . He said he'd stick to fish fingers, since it was so long since they had been swimming it wouldn't matter. They would build their own version of a nuclear power source., from copper pipes and damp turf.I don't know how effective this would be but you'd blind your enemy with smoke. It entertained him and disturbed me for half an hour anyway. It sounds awful but it was good distraction from having 11 eleventy billion jobs to do on two farms, renovate two bathrooms and everything else that has to happen before 'The Visitors' come. Nothing like a bout of imaginary Genocide to do that.

Money

Just saw a boat filling up at a petrol station, what  surpised me wasn't the boat , it was this particular petrol station had petrol. For some reason it made me  think of the Celtic Tiger years, it wasn't even a very big boat. 'Oh I' just off to fill up the yacht ,Darling' (or do they only operate by sails?theres probably an engine there somewhere). That was a delusion financed by the banks which nobody wants back. That said there has been a bit of a pick up in the economy, there's going to be two brewery's in the area, LEADER grants are funding artisan producers. If you are making something you have a great chance , not so much general hospitality.Which might be bad news for a family member looking for money to set up a cafe.Campsites seem to be out too, then again I did put for Kobota ride on lawnmowers. I think a level pitch and some sort of outhouse connected to the septic tank might suffice.It'll be in keeping with my 'Rustic' Airbn cottage theme. Seasonal work is fantastic in a way, you have a fair idea of how long it will last . So if you are feeling overwhelmed you can count down to when its finished ,'only 2 weeks more of this shite' , until you're nostalgic for it in the off season. You have to hoard your money like a squirrel for the Winter when you can hibernate and readjust .
And we are supposed to be getting a Whiskey Distillery in the area.168 distillery based on the number pf steps up The Skelligs.

Books

I used to read one time, reams and reams of books. Now it's blogs, short pieces in the Sunday magazines and paperwork from revenue. My attention span is shot and anyway even when I do have time on my own I use it to attempt to clutter clean. Anyway here is a list:
 Books to make you laugh /make you cry or a bit of both:
1) The Snapper , Roddy Doyle
2)A short History of Tractors in Ukrainian , Marina Lewicka
3)Black Baby, Clare Boylan
4)Sleeping Arrangements Laura Shane
5)Bridget Jones Diary , Helen Fielding
6)Making Love , Markus Brill(lent this to someone never got it back,havn't found a copy since)
7)Adrian Mole -The Cappucino Years , Sue Townsend
8)Mad Cows , Kathy Lette
9)The Bot in the Striped Pjamas, John Boyne
10)Pookoon Spike Milligan(
11) Angelas Ashes, Frank McCourt
12)Man and Boy, Tony Parsons
13)Inconcievable , Ben Elton
14)The Best Awful, Carrie Fisher
15)To Kill a Mockingbird,Harper Lee
16)The Book Thief , Markus Zusak
17) The Life and Times of a Teaboy , Michael Collins
18) The Butcher Boy ,Patrick McCabe( no 17 reminds me somehow of this book)
19) The Drifters, James A Michener
20)Hurrah for Gin , Part Time Working Mummy, Constance Hall ,blogger with published books

Blogger envy

Bingeing on Aisling Ozdimers FB page after reading  all of her blog.She's so funny and over shary, so is Part time Working Mummy(spelt that as Whoring first, auto correct and typos have a lot to answer for)Constance Hall ,The Unmumsy Mum Peter and Jane-I love her satire.Always thought I was oblivious to things but people thinking her posts are real and Daddy should get rid of her show there are far more blinkered than me out there.I count Cooking on a Bootstrap too as Jack writes about struggling to feed her and her son when her benefits were delayed. She had been a member of the Fire brigade before her circumstances changed and her story was frightening to read when it comes to basic neccessities and food poverty. I'm envious of the writing and their willingness to put their head above the parapet. They get villified severly despite all the other praise that has to sting. They spend far more time than I crafting well written posts and often throw their very much loved family under the bus. Mine would shout at me and probably not speak to me after. I'm even jelouse of  fur baby mummyLiz Jones writing even though she can be devisive and most of her problems do seem 'First World'. Penelope Trunk is fantastic for making me think. She has an editor but still has to come up the content in the first place. I absolutely do not agree woth everything she come out with but it's so thought provoking. She has been posting regularly lately as hers homeschooled(maybe unschooled now ??) boys are in their teens so giving her more time maybe to write. I loved how she posted about her youngest coming out and how totally accepting she was of it yet unsuree of how she should respond to me. She looked for help with this which is fantastic. The majority of us want to do the best for our kids but we might not always know how to respond in the way that is best for them. As horrible as the internet can be I love that you can find a group or info on any topic you want. This is great if you have a child that is opposite in interests , ideas and personality to you. you can find their people and just do your best to accept them as they are instead of the idea of them you may have had. I think too you cn usually find someone in the family that was like them somewhere. It may be a few generations back and you may be able to learn how to how best to support them (or what not to do) from looking back.

To eat or not to eat

Went to an  restaurant yesterday,had  a voucher. I don't love fish but had seared tuna. Seared bit tasted great to me, was fine eating it on the thin end. As it got thicker I had to not look at it as the reminded me of the only episode of The 100 I have seen. 'The Bad Year' where they resorted ot eating cubes of the dead from the fighting pit after the soya crop failed. It's strange how our minds work. It's easy for us to eat certain things, depending on the culture we grew up in . Except maybe if you're vegan. Eating more vegetarion to vegan in alot of ways would be better for the environment and our health. But if we all managed to move towards this it would be benficial but maybe not viable ie can we all grow enoough food or have enough sustainable fuel to transport it. I grew up on a farm so am probably one step nearer to where meat comes form but I don't kill ir or prepare it and I have been to but not into abbatoirs. But Ihaven't (and don't really want to..) eat frogs, snails or insects. I eat cheese but Sicily's maggot infested delicacy probably wouldn't be for me.

Kids

Laughed so much at Ashling Odzimer's Rian. when she asked him one day what  he did at school today he said 'Played on the seasaw and used f words with hand actions'. I think  thats far better than 'Heads , shoulders ,knees and toes ' actions.

Passing time

My boyfriend threatened to put up security cameras to watch my daughter and see if she is doing jobs. He said if it's tampered with no more Hollyoaks.She replied 'I'll tamper with you. His comeback 'Said the actress to the bishop'. She frequently replies this to things and giggles away to herself.I don't think she quite gets it but it's very entertaining

Irony

Re watching Tommy Tiernan's 'The Stray Sod'. He has a skit about the mananger of a McDonalds warning him off the food. Something similar happened in our SuperValu to a friend.Everytime she went in shopping a particular person on the tills would always say to her'You'd get that cheaper in Aldi' as she was putting herr shopping through. The next time my friend went in she said to her 'Jesus, i havn't seen you in ages' .'Yeah, I went Aldi'. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot

Mid Life

Feeling strange, trying to up my mood. nothing bad happened just feeling a bit meh. Looking out all I'ms of slurry around the fields instead of the sunshine glinting on the sea. Funny when you are like this you notice the negatives , when you are in great form , oblivious. Airbnb is going well , my daughter is healthy.And now about a quarter of an inch taller than me, so we discovered on her annual measuring. Unless you do something really neglectful they do keep on growing. I think it may be a combination of things. The 45 year anniversary of my primary school is coming up. I've bought aticket but may use the excuse its the day after a wedding I'm going to. I dont feel successful enough to be going to it . I feel a little as if I'm back where I started when many former students are biologists and  guards. They have moved on to proper adult lives with careers  while I still feel like I'm playing at it.The wedding is making a little angsty for the same reasons. I'll know lots of people at it but may not have spoken to them for a long time so will inevitably have the 'So what are you doing with yourself now' conversation. It's stilted at times, I feel like I'm bullshitting, even though we all tell the best version of our story.I feel as if I havn't 'Made it'. I have a nice life but it's not really interesting to share. I'm not climbing mountains or diving in lakes. I got out of breathe tackling my daughter for the ball today. I can't say I was fit but I usen't be this bad. Maybe I'm having my mid life crisis early. If it makes me take action it might be good. I don't think I'll be repalcing the Old Toyota with a convertable yet.

Moods and feelings 2

I don't know if its connected or not but we all spread out a bit and everything lifted. Him to the farm, me to the kitchen and her to her room. I cleared out and recyled load of containers I had been keeping 'just in case' bowls I'd borrowed from my Nans house which arn't really been used ( and maybe are abit too vintage and one possibly Waterford Crystal for me to be slashing into sinks/dishwasher), a wine rack which was gifted to him and never used-he's more a spirit man-was placed ina nother cupboard , a huge frying pan relocated with the rest and  empty biscuit tins re hoarde by me in another less inconvenient press. I did the same in the press under the sink(cupboards to those who don't speak Hiberno English) and her press. This is one where a certain amount (rationed sweets) were left for her or where she (or I) can hide things so he wont eat them or give them to visitors. I found more food than I thought and sorted the freezer a little. She cleaned the chair she usually sits in . It was once a nice recliner but now the frame is buckling , cover is filthy and I wouldn't care to put my hand down the back or under it. A magic sponge dealt with alot of the bolognese satins..And now they are tolerating eachother, I'm not mediating and everything does pass

Moods and feelings

I know our thoughts are supposed to control our moods and actions. That feelings and moods are generally fleeting. Yet tody my daughter are prickly. It didn't help that the Organic Farmer likes to wind when we arn't in the best form. I don't need him to tiptoe around us but not deliberatly rattling the cage would be great. We had loosely planned to go shopping to get her an outfit( I sound like an aul wan) for a wedding. After that neither of us could be bothered going. I'll do exciting things like laundry instead. A bit of a cliche -Irish Mamies obsessed with 'great drying'. Sad but true as we have been having a sunny spell to the point of draught in parts. But we all have dry clothes.Not completly unstained though, I'm a bit rubbish at getting out mud from football and bolognese. My whites are a bit off.I havn't resorting to boiling my washing yet. Might boil my head instead. I don't care, I have unworn stuff in the wardrobe and heels I can't walk in. I am resigned to just putting something on as I hate shopping when I actually have to buy something. I like when you have a voucher and your jeans or favourite boots are wearing out but still wearable . You have time and are in no rush. Your voucher is a One4All so you laods of shops to look in. Generally you search for something very similar to the originals and often its the first thing you try on. It's perfect and the cycle beggins again. Occasion wear is a pain in the ass. Your realtives nitpick about you being overdressed or undressed, ask you what it cost without revealing their spend, tell you would look better with your hair up/down basically the opposite of what you have, ditto with make up and spray tan. Maybe I'm just crap at this. So many men and women love getting dressed up ,enjoy the buikd up and the actual event. I like part of the event. I like seeing the people I like and talking for a bit. I have to watch that I drink a very moderate amount. Just enough to quel the social anxity yet not enough to make an arse of myslef. The struggle is real.

Feeling gratitude

Sometimes it's difficult to feel grateful. I can get in a fugue about not being rich or successful. I have food , shelter,clean drinking water, indoor plumbing, heating and clothes. My daughter gets a bus to secondary school, doesn't have to walk miles barefoot, has friends, doesn't find schoolwork difficult and likes playing sport. She is kind,clever and healthy. I can get annoyed about not feeling enough. I don't write enough ,do enough paid work or enough unpaid housework. That I'm not efficient enough or organised enough.Yet I'm managing to live a life thats not on the breadline when so many are overstretched and can't pay their mortgages. I don't go out really maybe to eat if I get invited by family . I don't accept as often now as I feel a little embarassed. They have a more hectic schedule than I . They ask when they have time -I don't think I'm entertaining enough or have enough news. We do like ur gossip in rural Ireland. So I need to start listing the things I'm gratful for and appreciate them. My daughter's friend palited her hair beautifully today, something I'm crap at . I do say 'horse's for course's ' but don't seem to apply it to myslef. I wish I was really good at one thing. Then it could overcompensate for everything else I feel i'm lacking. I've left so many friendships drift, lots i've jettisoned because I thought I was dragging them down. They were always the ones inviting and including me. I never took the initiative as I didn't think anyone would like my ideas. It all becomes self fullfilling. I do like the way my daughter uses snapchat to communicate with her friends. Like hieroglyphics they communicate in symbols and pictures. It's an introverts paradise. You can jut say hi with a snap and don't have to interact any further. Its good for the extroverts to fill in the gaps between all their extroverting. I admire them but would find all that exhausting

Mediating

My daughter helps me with Airbnb, sometimes under duress. Alot of the time I'd quite happily do it by myself, I'm an introvert,often this is the only time I get to myself in the summer. The Organic Farmer thinks she should be doing something-she can go farming too if she likes but it's not really her thing. She does do paperwork for him though. He means well but sometimes I would rather let her be. She asks in the supermarket before putting things in the trolley,if I have spend and save vouchers she tells me to price to add on. She helps pack and put away everything. If their are visitors coming shhe cleans and helps me set the table, clear up etc. Not because these are female jobs  but because she can hop up and do a mad burst. I work this way too in a short mad burst. The deadline is coming less time for overthinking it just has to get done. She is so much neater than me about dressing beds and lining up certain things. Things she doesn't give a shit are thrown in the corner. But she does have her priorities and in general is a far better organised person than I. she sorts her own gear for footballl and packing if going anywhere, she makes and checks off a list. She feels too old for lots of summer camps, has no interest in going to the Coláiste Íde for Irish college( her Irish is good anyway) and now they don't really hire young teens for jobs. This is due to insurance to a certain extent and jobs just not being available. Its frowned upon now to leave a 13 year old minding much younger children and doing housework on their own. I saw on a programme about opening up the west in the US(when they basically cleared out all the buffalo and Native Americans for white farmers) where a woman used to leave her kids tied to a sage bush, for a day ,with a dog for protection from wolves. It took her that time to move her sheep to fresh pasture and water. Her husband was off working somewhere else, maybe the mines. Can you imagine doing this now ? A begign neglect rather than outright neglect or smothering would be preferable.Children do need some space and some alone time(not abandoned) to get used to their own company and learn to feel safe and capable. The same with disapointement. It's preferable to build up a tolerance to many small disapointements in their life ,like a vacinination. You learn what is a minor inconvenience and deal with.I think you do learn how to do things when you have to .If you never did laundry , cooked etc at home you will learn to , albeit very badly at first.But that can be great as  you don't have someone standing over you so you have a chance to breathe and make mistakes . I like seeing how she is so capable and can do far more than I give her credit for.This is just because we fall into habits and roles with our children and others do expand their ideas of what they are capable of

Interests and obsessions

Daughters current obsession is Hollyoaks. She wants me to join in-I like it in small doses but don't quite have her interest. She starts talking about the characters as they are real and I have to remind her to lead with this fact. Its all a bit extreme. Thats what we love , drama. I prefer fictional to real life.You see enough of it in everyday life. I try to avoid, not always possible. I don't really listen to the news as its too sad. Summer is flying by. My Aunty M was talking about wedding shopping. Even though she doesn't like shopping herself and has her own style. I'm wearinf stuff from my wardrobe. I have dresses which were worn once or not for ages. I have heels that I've hardly worn or never worn in public. I have a job trying to get mt girl sorted. She isn't currently into dressing up. She doesn't like palysuits,jumpsuits or skirts. I simple style of a dress may do and she can bring a change of clothes. I may do something similar. It's locally so can alwas pop home and change etc or leave early if it doesn't suit us. My other aunt and my mother could spend ages talking about what they are goign to wear , do their hair and if they are getting their make up done.I just don't find it that interesting. I'm delighted for people when they are happy with what they are wearing and showing it to you but I hate all the build up to it beforehand. I like the finished product if they are comfortable in the style they chose.

In laws

My as good as Mother in law( we have no notion after 6 years) is a very interesting  person. She grew up in the US before moving to rural Ireland with her husband. She wasn’t that bothered about marrying  but felt she should do it as they were definitely not open minded around here at the time. The first priest she rang asked her could she prove she hadn’t been married already in America, when she said she couldn’t he said ‘What are you ringing me for?’ and hung up . She rang another priest who was far more obliging No shortage of them around the place that time so I think she would have kept ringing until she got one to suit!

They had two children who were most certainly a surprise . She worked as a bookkeeper for a local fish factory ,giving up while the kids were little. Driving since she was nine or ten as her Dad was a mechanic with a car lot, she had her own car.She used to have to pick up messages and drop them to the neighbours on her way home.from work

Seperating from her husband she moved to a local seaside town , taking her daughter. Her son stayed. The impression I got was she wasn’t happy that the grandmother who lived with them had started to show too much favouritism towards her grandson. She would give her granddaughter coins and her son notes. The children didn’t notice at the time but their mother was wary that they would start . She told her  she appreciated her giving the money but she would rather she didn’t if she was going to give them different amounts. I’d say there was other issues with favouritism due to the old fashioned notion of the son especially the firstborn or one who didn’t emigrate getting the farm. She went back to work as a bookkeeper and eventually bought a house.

 Her husband had been in an accident years ago-he got married on crutches.A lady in a rush for mass sped around a bend on  the wrong side of the road flinging him and his scooter  into fuchsia bushes. His legs were badly lacerated requiring a long recuperation. He had been to the US and asked his son to bring him up to see the cows. On the way back he collapsed and died in the tractor. They reckon the flight and residual damage from his accident lead to it.

She is leaving her house to her daughter as her son got the farm and family home. There’s still a little tension over this. His mother had to sign out as she had a 6^th of it but would have liked if he had given his sister a site. She bought her own house in one of the bigger local towns. She is very happy there but I’d say still a little nostalgic for her life on the farm.I don’t know for sure if my boyfriend gave her money but I think he might have.He values the land and not having to confer with others re rights of way etc so I think he would have preferred to pay her off in a sense as she would value money more than him.

She definitely is a strong minded woman though. As we’ve found out when trying to get her to accept home help and physio after she had been in hospital for a circulation problem. And she still does my boyfriends accounts even though she says he should be thinking about getting a replacement. She texts and emails better than myself .

Sport

Today my daughter played a match, ref told them they had won, let them celebrate for about ten minutes and then told them it was a draw...And all of the subs didn't get on. This has happened to my daughter too. It wasn't purposely done. The matches were all close (well they did think that they had won by point in this match) so the trainers got so into them they didn't think of the subs behind them. Another Mom had  given her a lift , her daughter did not get to play. She has had lots of experience football from her husband, son nad brothers playing. she took as being Character building. she is a very matter of fact person. Maybe she's right though. They do need to be disapointed too and if theeses are the worst disapointments they have it's a fine thing.My girl played the whole next match-think it was trying to overcompensate. I didn't take it personally but did feel disapointed for those who didn't play.She had a pain in her stomach and didn't say anything as she thought she would be off again. In fairness she had been out  with an injured knee for ages so her fitness was probably down.She got picked for Féile, others didn't , she got asked to train with Kerry under 13's (not heard anymore yet on that)  and she's in the division 5 team but gets asked to play with the division 1 team alot( you can play foe either if in the division 5 team, but not the other way round)
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So at the moment it's going well for her but it does get more serious. There's a huge drop out rate as it goes up in age groups.In fact I heard one of the Dad's saying his daughters had changed to soccer and where happier in general,even when they lost. They just had great cráic and where looking forward to the next match. In football if they win they are great no fault is found , if they lose it's over analysed and there's fault found everywhere. Often by people who have never played the game.It can be hard to listen -they are critisising 13 and 14 year olds, generally thte girls don't hear any of this.

 On the flip side they get incredible praise, which they do hear, when they do play well and win. It also has huge benefits,the friends they make, the excercise, the camraderie.the disapointment too as you don't always get your way , win or have the ref see all the fouls against you.Sometimes life is unfair and you just have to let it go. I love that she has something to talk about, people are obsessed with football in my county. This is a gift to my reserved child. She was so surprised when people spoke to her about Féile asking her was she disapointed about the final. She was disapointed at the time but they got over it on the bus home.

Cleaning

I do a little Airbnb, was away the weekend and supposed to be working in a Glasshouse after coming back . This was changed because of draught , yes draught in Ireland. The Coillte trees are not wanted at the moment as they can't plant them in the heat. I have a friend who cleans. I wasn't as impressed as I thought I would be ... Beds dressed beautifully but with unmatched extra towels-I usually leave out a bath towel per person ,a facecloth,, the same colours on a double bed . I leave an extra in the bathroom and only one hand towel in the bathroom , not one per person. Also dust from windowsills(older house by the sea, a little rust comes off the window hinges when you open them)appeared to have been wiped off onto the beautifully dressed beds. In fairness she made the beds and folded the towels far more neatly than I would. Yet there was bits still left on the carpet and mat in another room, sand on a bench in the hallway , on top of and under the mats and loads of sand plus dust in the diningroom. And nowhere was mopped. I admit I don't clean the windows each time and have missed dusty spots but thats on me.I did it I get the bad review. But when you pay someone who does it for quite a few people  and shortcuts have clearly been taken its a pain. I din't have people coming until later on that week so it worked out . If had just taken her word that it was done my guests would have given me a terrible rating for cleanliness and I couldn't argue with them about it . Yet my cleaner could have blamed them . I would have been stuck in the middle trying to placate guests and not alinate my friend. I've left money for her but must get my key back as she didn't leave it in where she works like I asked. I was annoyed too as I'd arranged ages ago for her to clean and I got text saying she hadn't heard from me did I still want her to do it. I reconfirmed what I though had been arranged , sent a text the next morning with some info on the house and she still rang me in the evening about rubbish-she has seen me dump it where she works. Told me oh you sent me a text but I didn't have my glasses. And she left a fork in the draining bord because she couldn't be bothered looking to see where they were. Admittedly its in jugs and containers on the worktop not a drawer.And I pissed off another friend by freezing and not actually doing anything to help her on a long drive home. She was angry with me but I think this actually changed by the time she got home. I felt oddly famillar , certain people would have no problem taking their mood out on me and my friend has a similar notion. I think I automatically tuned out the things I didn't want to hear. A form of self preservation if you feel you will be stranded or can't survive without them.A fear of being banished. An awful form of punishment , to be cast out in primative society meant certain death.Not exactly death now but social suicide. Still alonely fate.
And now that I've wrote I feel a little guilty re the cleaner. I didn't actually tell her about the door being unlocked for her to get in. She did ask was I coming back that evening, not sure why. Maybe she had intended coming again to finish off ( I don't think so though). Or maybe she got a phonecall and forgot about doing the floors or overscheduled herself or maybe she couldn;t see without her glasses. And my other friend was good enough to drive me long distances, book my hotel room, book dinner for me and get to our childrens football matches. She did everything,was understanably tired and I know I could have tried to do better. I think she would have kicked me out of the passenger seat after a bit as I wouldn't be driving on enough for her. She;s go, go, go and full of energy has to be talking and moving all the time. I love staring of into space and not talking for a bit to re energise. I could entertain myself for some  with my own thoughts.

Shenanigans

Back from a weekend away at a football thing with a friend , a new one who is way more friendly than I am. She's nice but emotional . It was unfair she had to do all the driving on the trip but she is alot better at it than me. She has zero patience though, not reckless but is gone if theres any open stretch of road. I did have an allergic reaction on the way back in my eyes to what I dont know . I took a pirotin at her request but should have left it til later as it made me so drowsy. I need to get thicker skin. She texts, calls and reads texts while driving. I couldn't ,tis enough for me to drive the car . I should get a headset I'd have some chance.She might hate me after the weekend -I did pay my way though at least.I'm tired today so dont know how she feels. I hope her daughter got sorted with her friends and all the teenage drama has died down.I think it had blown over between the the girls but some of the mother were not happy with eachother. I don't remeber drawing my parents into anything when i had an issue with friends. But then again I just avoided or pulled back from drama/ Pluse my mother never thought I chose the right friends so I just tended to keep it to myself. My girl is far better adjusted than I was as a teen I hope it stays that way and all our problems are minor. Sure generally none of it matters when we are older. Once its not bullying(which I don't think it is). People go mad if they don't get their way but are alos not happy when they do.If Kiera gets in next year I don't know if I'll go. If she's not bothered I might leave her off. They minded her so well. They lost their final but were in great form by the time the got back.She toook a breathe and talked for about two hours after coming home. She didn't really want to say much to me since . She's tired but happy and got on far better than I thought. My girl is far more independent than I give her credit for