Feeling gratitude

Sometimes it's difficult to feel grateful. I can get in a fugue about not being rich or successful. I have food , shelter,clean drinking water, indoor plumbing, heating and clothes. My daughter gets a bus to secondary school, doesn't have to walk miles barefoot, has friends, doesn't find schoolwork difficult and likes playing sport. She is kind,clever and healthy. I can get annoyed about not feeling enough. I don't write enough ,do enough paid work or enough unpaid housework. That I'm not efficient enough or organised enough.Yet I'm managing to live a life thats not on the breadline when so many are overstretched and can't pay their mortgages. I don't go out really maybe to eat if I get invited by family . I don't accept as often now as I feel a little embarassed. They have a more hectic schedule than I . They ask when they have time -I don't think I'm entertaining enough or have enough news. We do like ur gossip in rural Ireland. So I need to start listing the things I'm gratful for and appreciate them. My daughter's friend palited her hair beautifully today, something I'm crap at . I do say 'horse's for course's ' but don't seem to apply it to myslef. I wish I was really good at one thing. Then it could overcompensate for everything else I feel i'm lacking. I've left so many friendships drift, lots i've jettisoned because I thought I was dragging them down. They were always the ones inviting and including me. I never took the initiative as I didn't think anyone would like my ideas. It all becomes self fullfilling. I do like the way my daughter uses snapchat to communicate with her friends. Like hieroglyphics they communicate in symbols and pictures. It's an introverts paradise. You can jut say hi with a snap and don't have to interact any further. Its good for the extroverts to fill in the gaps between all their extroverting. I admire them but would find all that exhausting