Extras

Watching come Dine with Me, don't usually as I find it a bit cringe , as is most  Reality Tv. ,to me anyway. That probably says alot about me. I would never be able to go one of them. I'd be too self concise and boring or lose the plot altogether due to anxiety. Either way I don't think it would be worth the opportunity to win whatever amount of money. And yet I'm online doing surveys for vouchers/cash and sent in a video audition(way too short). for an ad talking about how passionate I am about voting. That was worth €1,000 if you got through and they would come to you  to film.I havn't heard back from that so presume it was a no go. I'm not entirely surprised , I was kind of hoping that not that many 35 year old women from Kerry would apply and I'd slip in that way .I've been scanning away my shopping and have about €70 worth of One4ll vouchers . I'm going to keep going for another while and cash in some before December and some after as you get bonus points for scanning throughout that month.This the email they sent me about signing up for Shop and Scan. I got a referall from someone on a bargain page online. They got bonus points when I signed up. I could have not been asked if there was enough people already doing it in my area. Its a market research company of consumer trends.. If you get sick of scanning you email them a freepost the scanner back to them( at least that was the story when I started) Log in here if you are interestes in signing up. www.shopandscan.ie . If you quote myname Ann O Connell and panel number I get a bonus of 500 points .Panel Number 911899.
I tried putting adsense on the blog too but nothing is showing up so far. Maybe my content isn't appealing to a wide audience or maybe my audience is too small. 

 Hopefully the old Toyota will pass the NCT again this year, I can have another Airbnb season plus Glasshouse work to put towards a new car. I must look into a Credit Union loan  in order to get a credit rating. I've never had an official loan just informal one which I've paid back to family.Someone  else who has no big record of saving but pays rent regularly might have a better chance of getting a loan.There is a tour guide course in The Tech in October,wonder would it be worth getting the cert? Sure I could go around The Glen doing it anyway for cash. It would fine if I worked in Fás and could be up and down to the Airbn. I could go back earlier uf people complained about my hour(s) away doing it or just brazen it out . Plenty others do, the woek gets done but they rejig it around their own schedule.Tús never got back to me when I ddin't say no to taking up place but did ask questions bout it. Maybe I'm off the radar they know I'm casually working in The Glasshouse? There are quotas for these placements so maybe they got enough 'Yes's' before I repliedMy paypal is still frozen so I might be damn glad of these few extra. I must remember to put aside money for my car insurance in December ,the electricity bill-they do give you leeway ,but still,some Christmas presents and you know money buy food

Gainful employment

People have views on jobs, whether they are 'good' or 'bad' . Like when I was telling someone who asked that I did various things in the factory under the title of 'general operative' and my mother chimed in 'dogsbody'. Maybe she thought I was trying to make myself out to be more important .You know the old fashioned 'Self praise is no praise' mantra her generation were raised on.In surveys I do online for money(I didn't bother sharing that information with her) it lists my current part time occupation as 'unskilled' .I suppose the Airbnb would come under hospitality which they seem to regard as 'skilled'. One of the women I work with was talking about a friend of hers, when asked what her daughter was doing , she answered' A kind of a sitting down kind of a job' . I think it was in an office,her mother didn't seem to think her daughter would have to exert herself at it anyway. I don't think I will ever have a career as such, just jobs that are seasonal or last for a finite time

I don't write well enough or often enough to get paid regulary from it. I could write more to lessen the block I have at the moment for fictional writing. Every time I try it ends uo being factual.I can't seem to stretch into a tangent to make it fictional.

 I scan my food shopping too, its a cent an item and you get paid in €15 euro One4All vouchers. I get bonus points for short surveys from them and for scanning throughout December. I can get extra points for referals but thats only if they invite the person who has given me their details. It's not difficult. Neither are most of the surveys , just tedious. You get quiker at scanning and weeding out the surveys sites which are too much effort for the payout. I like my little top ups.I feel I'm making back some of the money I sqaundered on things that weren't as good as I thougth they should be or were just a waste.

I'm starting to save again. I have never had an official loan ,just small ones I've repaid to family. I have no credit rating which means I could find it nigh on impossible to get a loan in the future. So I need to go to the Credit Union and find out how I can circumvent this. I think they will tell me I need to save with them more regularly and then let me have a small loan which I'll be able to pay off. Or else they'll say you have no record of regular earnings or of paying rent so we can't give you anything. It's not for me, it's more so if I needed it to help my daughteer down the line. She is only thirteen now so no college or car for a bit . But if my old Toyota calls it off or they do decide she needs braces, then it might be more urgent.

Stuck

I have to to, well not really,noones holding a gun to my head ,write a short story. and I'm stuck. I signed up for a Writers Bureau Course( well two and I have even less modules done in the second one....) with no deadline so yeah it's totally in my own time and under my own steam. I have written a couple in the past that worked but others were more like articles . And now I'm unsure of myself and can't even brainstorm. I could do this to help my daughter if she was stuck in an assignment so maybe I need to get her input. I liked English in school and have had a few very short pieces published which I managed to tailor to the specifications of what they wanted but now I can't seem to concentrate to do that. Maybe I need to to force myself to do it and just accept the critisisism,well it's not really critisisism  a tutor is paid to correct your assignments. I wonder how they are paid actually. Is it per person they take on or per assignment that actually gets mailed to them. I'm presuming they get paid something reagardles .They would have to , I think,if their student appears to have dropped off the face of the earth or resurfaces years later(like me)

Ennui

Feeling indecisisve. read a post about depression and The Impossible Taks. That the thing that is small but seems huge to those in a depressive state, you know like putting on socks,. I'm not depressed, I'm becoming more aware of discrepancies between the way socially adjusted people behave and how I do. It's glaringly obvious I'm too old for this and people no longer going to allow me the benefit of the doubt due to 'youth' . My life is not bad, I'm just stuck in habits that arn't serving me.And its painful for me to think what I have to do make changes.I'm avoiding the process. I want someone to wave a magic wand and poof I'm transformed into a functional adult.I don't want to have to ask for help with many task people take for granted.I want to have one skill(any skill) that people will pay me enough money for that I can have a PA that does all the practical bookings of flights,planes and trains, arranges appointments, runs though whats happening and reminds me of everything.I want to have a talent so spectacular tha it makes everyone ignore all my flaws 'because she is a genius at x'. Why can't I be a Savant? Yes limitations go with this but to have a specialist skill would be great instead of being below average at everything and not having the personality to make up for it
Really I'm not sure if theres actually anything wrong .Maybe it's 'Back to School Blues' ? It's strange without my daughter . Even though alot of the time we were both watching our own thing in the same room. My boyf has taken his Mother to the hospital to get her cateract operated on, I have neither of them  to have lunch with( usually my introvert self loves this) my last Airbn guests are finishing up, The Glasshouse does not need me today and I can't motivate myself to usefull stuff like meal planning or cleaning. Of course this will pass, it's a momentay deflation. The sun is shining, I have laundry on the line and did enjoy my solo lunch.I've got my Bookeeper friend looking at my accounts for 2017 and she will do me the favour of checking my 2018 so I make sure to put in all my expenses. It's different if you are living in the house or if its a seperate property so it's good to get someone with a better head than me to look at the figures. What I have saved isn't massive , one bog bill could wipe it out, it's still better than none at all.I'm looking forward to having my space back a little and rejigging, one group said less furniture in the rooms would be better. I think I could rehome a filing cabinet that has no business in a bedroom. I bought a high chair and a travel cot in charity shops as guests asked if I coudl get them. I need to find a the best space for these and stack chairs in a better way. sometimes I only have a couple others times they want loads of chairs if they have friends to visit during their stay. And back to chopping wood, well breaking up rotten pallets. I will be needed agin in the Glasshouse for shamrock planting, the colder weather will be nicer for working there , fires and candles will be lit soon, football will be finishing and I will have time to regroup for the Winter