Mediating

My daughter helps me with Airbnb, sometimes under duress. Alot of the time I'd quite happily do it by myself, I'm an introvert,often this is the only time I get to myself in the summer. The Organic Farmer thinks she should be doing something-she can go farming too if she likes but it's not really her thing. She does do paperwork for him though. He means well but sometimes I would rather let her be. She asks in the supermarket before putting things in the trolley,if I have spend and save vouchers she tells me to price to add on. She helps pack and put away everything. If their are visitors coming shhe cleans and helps me set the table, clear up etc. Not because these are female jobs  but because she can hop up and do a mad burst. I work this way too in a short mad burst. The deadline is coming less time for overthinking it just has to get done. She is so much neater than me about dressing beds and lining up certain things. Things she doesn't give a shit are thrown in the corner. But she does have her priorities and in general is a far better organised person than I. she sorts her own gear for footballl and packing if going anywhere, she makes and checks off a list. She feels too old for lots of summer camps, has no interest in going to the Coláiste Íde for Irish college( her Irish is good anyway) and now they don't really hire young teens for jobs. This is due to insurance to a certain extent and jobs just not being available. Its frowned upon now to leave a 13 year old minding much younger children and doing housework on their own. I saw on a programme about opening up the west in the US(when they basically cleared out all the buffalo and Native Americans for white farmers) where a woman used to leave her kids tied to a sage bush, for a day ,with a dog for protection from wolves. It took her that time to move her sheep to fresh pasture and water. Her husband was off working somewhere else, maybe the mines. Can you imagine doing this now ? A begign neglect rather than outright neglect or smothering would be preferable.Children do need some space and some alone time(not abandoned) to get used to their own company and learn to feel safe and capable. The same with disapointement. It's preferable to build up a tolerance to many small disapointements in their life ,like a vacinination. You learn what is a minor inconvenience and deal with.I think you do learn how to do things when you have to .If you never did laundry , cooked etc at home you will learn to , albeit very badly at first.But that can be great as  you don't have someone standing over you so you have a chance to breathe and make mistakes . I like seeing how she is so capable and can do far more than I give her credit for.This is just because we fall into habits and roles with our children and others do expand their ideas of what they are capable of