Do you want to be buried with my people?

'Do you want to be buried with my people?' a chat up line I haven't heard for a long time, and the completely un PC 'Do you want to go halves on a bastard?'. I can 't imagine the second going down well at all in 2019. Nor can I imagine dating like an American. They seem to be ok asking people out on a date. The person being asked out may not be that into the person that asked them on the date, will go, see how they get on. They can have multiple dates with the same person, other people, until they mutually decide to be 'exclusive'. Mutually does seem to be key though. Otherwise one is daydreaming about their future babies, and the other is scheduling them in between other dates. Or maybe I've been watching too much American TV.

I'm not sure how Irish people actually get together. First, they seem to be 'meeting' or 'shifting' each other plus a few others. Then they seem to forget about other people but just 'meeting' each other, they are still not a couple. I'm making complete generalisations here. This seems to go on -on and off, throughout the teens/the twenties. It seems to culminate in ultimatums of marriage or babies. I have no idea if its similar for Queer teens.

I was very bad at all of this as a teen and up to my late twenties. My last two, what I would call serious relationships were sort of drifting into. I brought clean laundry to both their places as one lived near the laundrette and the other time I was working where laundry was done so brought my clothes with me. Much of it stayed in their places . Even though  I still had my own home.
The first was free accommodation over the Irish Pub. It turned out that lots of people had the code to the access pad . I didn't realise this for ages but never felt unsafe there.
 I'm pretty sure money went missing from my bag at some stage. But  I was ditzy and couldn't be 100% sure of how much was there in the first place. I didn't bother reporting it to anyone. It was my own fault for presuming. I wouldn't go into someone else bag so why would someone else do it? Things like this did happen before, but like that, I wasn't paying as much attention to my finances as I do now.
 I did catch a family member once who had taken a tenner.I had just thrown it into the wardrobe on the left side. That was my filing system at that time. I wasn't a spindthrift but I wasn't materialistic either. I liked having some money but I was living at home, not internet shopping, didn't have a car etc.
 I had gone back in shortly after for something else otherwise I genuinly probably wouldn't have notice. I said it to them , they denied it, I insisted and threatened  to involve our parents. They relented saying they needed it but I actually forced them to give it back. I probably would have loaned it to them but have a feeling I would have had to fight to get it back. Thats if I remembered. I really used to live in my own head , with very little 'street smarts'. I'm stilll a bit that way.

 I digress. I had a baby when I was 21 with a man I had been seeing for two years. The relationship didn't last. We didn't fall out but he stopped contacting me when she was two. I'm 35 and havn't had anymore  children since. I'm ok with that. In fairness, it had crossed my mind that maybe I couldn't or wouldn't have them. He had an apartment near the laundrette and walking distance from the Irish Pub. He was earning but not great with money. I'd say he moved out independently from his family sooner than I did , got a car , had to pay for accomadation.
I had to pay for accomadation when I went to UL at 18 for about a year. I was working at weekends and had being doing some sort of paid work since I was 14. Of course, I spent some but still saved a bit. I was been given food going back to college every weekend. Generally, I wasn't great with money I tended to only spend some of my cash after all my bills were paid. He was a business analysist and worked part time in the Irish Pub I waitressed at in Germany. I met him the first night I was working when he was bartending the lower bar. He continued to pay bills in the flat but I contributed food shopping paid for laundry to be done etc.
We moved to England, where he was originally from , before I had the baby. I ended up spending more and more time in Ireland visiting. He was out alot working. In retrospect, I had some form of depression not necessarily post natal . Later on, I went to my childhood doctor in Ireland who gave antidepressants as I was 7 and a half stone with thining hair. This helped hugely and I only took one course of them. Later I got diagnosed with a Gastric Migraine which ment I got heachaces and vomited due to low serotonin. Drinking aloe gel and life generally becoming less stressfull helped alot.I'm closer to ten stone now.
 The Organic Farmer doesn't tend to procrastinate. In fact the only time I've really see him do it was because his Uncle got annoyed at him for not wanting to stay over night at a family wedding. I had posted the invite back, last minute as he hadn't decided on whether to go, I forgot the airmail sticker . It arrived ten days late. His 80 something year old Mother had sent an email response . Why did I not do that? I held back as it was his side of the Family and I didn't want to cause him extra stress. Regardless, I did anyway. His Uncle was not so happy with us when we arrived .We didn't improve it by saying we weren't staying that night. He hates wedding as he find them too long , he has a cousin who tends to start fights but still gets asked again to everything and he , like me, likes people but we need time on our own to recharge.They used to ring eachother once a week but havn't since then. Neither will give. They are quite similar in lots of ways.
I hate the going on and on about what you are going to wear by my Mother and her friend. They can't understand it make us uncomfortable or they don't care. I can look ok when I have to.I go to very few. It's because of this but also the cost. I'm trying to drink less, don't need a man and I don't really dance, even the 'shake your tail feather ' version as one of my Brothers Black American girlfriend described the actions in the Harp one night. He's married to someone else whose lovely too but we did like Iota.Maybe I'm just becoming more boring or just need to made adaptations for myself so I can enjoy it more. Maybe booking a room in the hotel so I can be up and down to it if I need some quite time. It embarrasses me as most people sort of humble brag about 'having' to go to so many weddings. I really don't get invited to many though. If he was into going I probably would end up at more but be drained by the organisation of it all. It make me sound ungratefull and I really don't want to come across that way. I may just be antisocial but I think theres more to it . I've been thingking again about but not yet booked an Aspergers assesment

 I've since lived back  to Ireland, rented a house and moved to my Grandmothers house in the last 10 years. And I spend time at The Organic Farmers house. He is very tolerant , good but not a bit tight with money. He pays his bills, I pay mine. I cook a good bit at his house so I get alot of the food shopping. He loves my daughter. As does her Father I'm sure but he needs to find a way back. He procrastinates because it's uncomfortable. He used to do that . Devon Price has a wonderful piece 'There's no such thing as laziness ' which explains what I think is going on with him far better than I can. Generally I never talk about or write about money but I'm more aware of it. Constance Hall has posted about being paid and valued for so called 'unskilled 'work , Denise Duffield Thomas has built her whole buiseness around it. But it is interesting how they all seem to feel or people feel they have the right to ask them to explain themselves. They get questioned far more than a man about how much they are earning, who does the housework, childcare, exactly what percentage of the profict are going to charity.

 Sure when 'Part Time Working Mummy' got a Conservatory make over sponsored for advertising she only took part of and had a competition for her followers. People made comments about her being a 'sell out' etc. even though they know she does a vast amount for Domestic Violence Charaties, has five kids -one on the way , works part time and a policeman husband who works shifts. She couldn't enjoy her bit of a reward. She feels she has  to give away things she's been given because some followers make her feel she doesn't deserve it. There was a comment removed by a poster about how they had expected her book 'to be better' somehow. It was essentially a collection of pieces from her blog and her story from what I understand . The poster was ok reading it for free on her page but didn't like when she paid for the book for some reason..Hey I've  been bought another bloggers book which had rave reviews. I read it in one sitting. I thought it was light and funny but would have got them same enjoyment form her free posts. But I did not post this anywhere as I didn't think it would be fair. It was my opinion and nowhere did the author say it would be in a different style.
I find that on alot of these blogs people seem fine when the blogger is posting for free and just begining to become well known. When it takes off and the Blogger  understandably tries to monetise it (as it takes a huge amount of time and you ahve to put up with Trolls) their own followerss eeem to turn. I tend to read mostly blogs by women  so not sure if this phenomenom happens to male bloggers. I have a hunch that it doesn't.
And I've gone off on another tangent. Basically, The Organic Farmer seems to be 'The One' and some of his people are buried near some of my people so we might all end up together in the end. It's equal to us-my daughter can be deciding.