Down in the Doldrums

Doldrums, a term I havn't heard in years. Interesting to hear in Ireih now as my daughter is her geography in the Irish stream.My papypal is still frozen, I'm writing very little and I can'r find my debit card. Its in the house somewhere so maybe its good thing. Makes it harder for me to spend. I was in the bank to very myself as I've managed to become a Chairperson of our Community Centre. Turned out I had done so before as Chairperson of the local school so hadn't really needed to go in. Makes me sound good but really I'm only taking these positions because the ones who were doing it for years are sick of it. Anyway I asked about loans and was told I would need to show more regular income going into my account , even social welfare is counted as income by them. My savings and general income coming in have been sporadic but is looking healthier lately.I don't specifically need a loan, I'm wary that I will neeed one and not be able to get it . I have no credit rating. I've never had an official loan. I've occasionaly had small loans from family members which I have paid off . I knew when I would have the money to repay so I had no qualms about asking .It was such a rare occurence, this was because I lived at home until I was around 20( I did return for a brief period, thats another story) so I was fed,didn't have utilities or a car. My Grnadmother was still living which meant another house I was welcome in. On my second stint home, my job and the creche were walking distance from my parents and Granmother's. I didn't have a car. I attempted to give something for my keep but felt it would be appreciated more if I moved out. I put my income towards this instead. After a bit I  moved to a house up the road with small rent, then bought my brothers old car out of the yard, after a few attempts, passed my driving test. My job within walking distance no longer required me , due to many life changes happening at once I ended up taking a year off. In that time I lived off my savings. I wasn't rich but had saved from before I had to pay all my own bills. Then I got a new job in an Art Gallery which turned out to be Community Employment.For the first time I was on benefit, The Lone Parent Allowance( had to be out of work for a year and receiving a benefit in order to take this job). I was allowed this plus a CE Scheme wage. The Department of Social Protection has since reclassed  CE income as a social welfare payment which halved what people had been getting. Now they are finding it difficult to get people for these placements.People who are working a regular job would probably be pissed off that others had been getting as such two payments for part time work. But it did make it worth people's while doing the schemes. Now it is worth more to some to stay at home unfortunatly

Now my income has diversified a little , I'm saving again. Is till drive a second hand car and use money off vouchers. I'm lucky I have no debt and can afford my bills.And I have to remind myslef of this at times when I'm lamenting my lack of success. This is usually after someone I went to school with has got married/had a baby/travelled /got a promotion. Comparing yourself is never a good idea