Merging

What if the shoe was on the other foot? If you already had a child before we got together? If it was my house and I had to adapt to the extra noise, clutter and dirt? Would I have coped.?Would I have been as accepting. I'm not so sure .You  are the the more tolerant.Would I have fallen at the first hurdle and  not taken 'You're not my Mom' the same way as'You're not the boss of me' ( which is what it really is)Would I have been as understanding as you? Would I have inferred  that your child didn't actually dislike me.They were only trying to cope with having to share their parents affection. That  they were trying to adjust and accept that maybe their biological parent wasn't coming back. Would I have understood I have to be more a friend than a replacement for the absent parent, an added extra.Would I have adapted to your family as much as you have for mine? Would I have been able to deal with the inevitable conflicts that you have faced into? Would I have run from the  discomfort incurred in all relationships and missed out?Maybe , after all I did tell you at the start that a woman needs a man about as much as a fish needs a bicycle .I had decided I was better off single. Sending out the wrong vibes, attracting other broken people. Time alone helped. We joke that its on a weekly bases or depending on the mood , day by day. We have been saying for the last six years. You are not a replacement. You were an unexpected bonus and I think she feels the same. Even if she still says your not her family when she is annoyed and in  the next breathe you're her Fake Dad you have to  mind her.Thank you x